Hirate Yurina -- Long Interview from Rockin' On Japan Magazine

Hirate Yurina of Keyakizaka46 --
A Ten-Thousand Word Monologue

...all I can do now is now. Please watch the me of today. The 16-, 17-, 18-year-old me will not be able to express this 15-year-old me.


The editor of Rockin' On Japan magazine has a theory that all outstanding songs are inevitable. He believes that it was the particular nature of Keyakizaka46, and especially Hirate Yurina's "overwhelming presence and exceptional potential," that called Silent Majority into being.

He describes "her gaze, shining from deep behind her bangs, now more brilliant and fragile than ever." He wanted to find out what is reflected in that gaze: what her thoughts were about herself, and about performing.

The magazine asked Hirate to perform for them so they could take photos of her in action. She enthusiastically agreed. And when her performance was over, the interview began....

The me when I'm performing and the me now aren't the same. I'm fed up with the ordinary Hirate Yurina. She's not fun to be.



Hirate: Oh, that was fun! I haven't performed since Kouhaku.

-- Do you feel down during periods like that?

Hirate: I do. And this time was especially long. My thinking has changed from before. I really enjoy performing. The performance itself, and the me while I'm performing, are both a lot of fun. Not to have the opportunity to do this.... Really, it's hard (laughs).

-- At your debut, then, you didn't have any idea that there was such a thing as a performance self? Those feelings of liberation and of wanting to do it: if you didn't have those, then you would feel something was missing?

Hirate: Yes.... I'm fed up with Hirate Yurina (laughs). The me when I'm performing and the me now are different. I'm fed up with the normal Hirate Yurina. She's not fun to be. Not fun at all. I want to become the Keyakizaka46 Hirate Yurina as soon as possible. She's a different person.

-- Yes. Seeing Hirate Yurina on stage, I think that's so.

Hirate: The me when I'm performing with Keyakizaka46 -- I don't remember her most of the time. But when the music starts I change. When "Overture" starts, I just switch over. I'm really nervous until then. My...my small toe sticks out a bit and it's painful to dance in loafers (laughs). But things like that...when I step onstage, I forget them completely. I have no gears. Today was the same. I hate doing things half-heartedly.

-- When did you realize that there is another you inside you?


Hirate: Fairly recently, really. I'm grateful that we got more and more work. I had to go all-out to do it, and I just didn't review my performances much. When the summer drama was over, things calmed down a bit and I was watching the videos that my manager always makes.... I watch them over and over. I've probably seen the One-Man Live a hundred times. (laughs)

-- Ah, I see.

Hirate: (Laughs) Yes. I've also watched the Countdown Japan video many times.

-- Do you watch them to calm down? Or to check things?

Hirate: It's not to calm down. It's like: "Ah, that's the kind of performance I gave." I blame myself for not doing as well as I should be able to. Sometimes when I step on stage, I just can't hear the voices of the audience. There are things I don't notice until I watch the video.

--  When you step on stage, you are immersed in that world, so later you are checking the things you didn't see from there?

Hirate: Yes. Something like that. I watch the MVs a lot, too. I do get a feeling like: "I love us!" But even though I love us, on the other hand I'm looking for areas where we're lacking.
 

-- Have you been singing or performing since you were a child?

Hirate: No, not at all. But I did watch music programs, and I guess I watched a lot of dramas and films. I loved singing, and loved dancing and moving around.

-- Do you remember what you felt when you were first singing and dancing?

Hirate: The first time I was taught dancing was when I entered Keyakizaka, when we had our first lesson. That day, we had voice training and dance lessons. I realized I had no ability. About four or five people had some experience, and being there beside those girls...they were really great. I thought "amazing!" but I was also impatient. In voice training, too. My voice couldn't reach the high notes at all. I really thought: "Oh, no! There's no way!" It's a good thing our song was Silent Majority (laughs).

-- So that's how it was. It may be overstating it a bit, but maybe it wasn't that it was Silent Majority. Maybe it was because it was a group called Keyakizaka46, and a person called Hirate Yurina, and because this person had a certain world-view, and this group had a certain world-view. This meant that a song in a high key was no good, and therefore it had to be a Silent Majority.

Hirate: Ehh! I wonder. At first, I thought of a cheerful song like our big-sister group Nogizaka46's Guru Guru Curtain. But when I first heard SaiMajo, it's not that it was so shocking, but rather that because I had been told before that I would be centre, I was thinking how could I do that dancing and singing. I wasn't that good at dancing, and there I was right in the middle. I wasn't that good at singing, either, and the feeling of pressure made me very anxious.

-- But now when you hear Silent Majority, which you said didn't seem shocking at first, within you isn't there at least a bit of a secure feeling, a feeling that you can add weight to this world-view?

Hirate: I feel a lot of empathy with the lyrics. With Keyaki songs, the lyrics are so direct, rebelling against adults, etc. They have a lot of impact. We've had terrific lyrics written for us, and terrific choreography added to that. But after that it depends on how we do the performance. I worry every time how well we are going to do.

-- With lyrics like that, and being there as part of Keyakizaka, with no sense of strangeness, don't you have some feeling of calm?

Hirate: I do, yes. All of Keyaki is behind me, and I can really depend on them. The members who lead the dancing are there, and members who say things like "since these lyrics are like this, wouldn't it be better to do this more this way?" I think how good Keyakizaka is, and how glad I am that I entered Keyakizaka (laughs). Everyone is together as one thing, and making one work. Maybe it's like making a musical. The choreography, the songs, the protagonist...the part in Futari Saison entering the A melody, where everyone who doesn't have a singing part is playing  a passer-by. You don't see choreography like that.

-- Yes, that's so.

Hirate: But the reason for all this is really to convey the story of the song. I haven't seen that before -- the feeling of everyone making a musical together -- and I really enjoy it.

-- As you were just saying, and this is also a key to Silent Majority, Keyakizaka46 has a lot about smashing things that went before. Why do you think that is?

Hirate: When we did SaiMajo, I was in second-year middle school. Second year is like puberty, and maybe it seems like a rebellious period (laughs). At the final audition for Keyakizaka, I was extremely nervous. Afterwards, I said to staff who had been there at that time: "I was really nervous. Was it okay?"  They said: "You gave off a feeling of distance toward adults, of rebellion." Maybe Akimoto-san felt the same thing. There are an unusual number of shy members in Keyaki, and people who are bad at expressing themselves. Members who freeze when the camera moves (laughs). I think we were all alike in ways like that.

-- Saying that you didn't see SaiMajo as all that shocking at first is a very Hirate-san, a very Keyakizaka thing to say. I think that for sure the feeling came from somewhere that this song suited the group, that if it was a song like this, you could do it.

Hirate: Ehh? I wonder. At first, all we heard was the melody. Then we were handed lyrics cards. At that point, we ceased to hear the melody. When lyrics and music were put together, all we noticed were the words. "Ah, it says: 'Great Leader.' (laughs) It says: 'Don't let adults tell you what to do.'" But it wasn't exactly shocking....

-- Something like "Oh, I can do this" perhaps?

Hirate: Yes. After that, they said: "Now let's do Hirate's solo song." But the impact of this was too great, I guess (laughs).

-- Ah, the "Great Leader," and the "Don't let adults tell you what to do." You thought that there was some distance between those words and you. But to perform them you would have to reduce that distance.

Hirate: I guess that's right.

-- At that point, what specific work do you do?

Hirate: After I get a song, I turn up the volume on my earphones when we're being driven around, sit next to the window and watch the night scene, or the morning scene, and listen to the song. Images...the protagonist just jumps into my mind: "Oh, this happens, so this happens." I can see the story of the whole song. That way, images bubble up. Every time we perform, I think that if we are not enjoying our own performance, the audience will get bored with it, too, so we express various things.

SaiMajo isn't just someone glaring. From the start, I'm just pretending to be strong. I'm playing someone who is actually weak. She is shouting out a pretense of strength that is actually a cry for help. It's like she's sad, and she's lonely, but when someone gives her some help, she can fight on alone. I think of the story of the whole song before a performance, and how to do it. And when I step on stage I just send out my own feelings as they are. I do various things."

-- So you think that's the way you should do things?

Hirate: No. It's just me enjoying myself. Feelings can only be shown in the present moment, right? What I'm enjoying now, the feelings after the photo session; or on my birthday, the enjoyment of people singing Happy Birthday to me and wishing me well -- those feelings can only be felt at those times. Moment by moment feelings have to be treasured. Putting those feelings out in performance is like making a record of them.

-- The feeling of treasuring moment-by-moment feelings -- do you think that's connected to Hirate-san's youth? Or is Hirate-san just that kind of person?

Hirate: But you're only 15 years old once in your life. There is definitely a me who is like a 15-year-old, who can only be 15 years old. And I want to enjoy the present. I want to live without regrets.

-- What you said just now about listening to the song and the protagonist beginning to move, taking the story inside you and making a record of it by your performance -- hearing that, I feel like saying: "Isn't making a character and so on close to acting?" If I did say that, what would you think about it yourself?

Hirate: Ah... acting? I don't think what I do at those times is as deep as creating a character. I think it's more like just: "How can I convey what's in the song?"

-- That "how can I convey?"-- it's different every day, every second, isn't it?

Hirate: It is. Although it's gotten less frequent recently, I listen to the songs about once every three days. And in that time, the way I feel about them changes. For Futari Saison, if I listen while I'm walking outside, I feel certain things: the violins, the manner of singing, the feeling of everyone's voices -- it all seems to fit the song. The MV has a cheerful feeling and my feelings watching it are cheerful, too. But if I'm feeling depressed, it can feel very sad. If my feelings are different, I hear it a different way.

-- I see. But I still think Keyakizaka46's world-view really is amazing. Silent Majority, Sekai ni wa Ai Shika Nai, Futari Saison -- in each performance, you make all of them your own, in some sense. And there right in the centre is the being called Hirate Yurina, expressing what she thinks about the three songs in her own way. If I may, I'd like to ask you about that today.

Hirate: In Futari Saison, at the point of parting from someone dear, the song expresses the happiness of having met them. I make the members my "someone dear" and in performance I look into their eyes and get the feeling "ah, this is someone dear to me." I think I can enter into the feeling that way. So as much as I can, I speak to them looking them in the eye. As I said before, during the A melody, they all play passers-by, even though that hasn't been much noticed, and they all have nice smiles. We look at each other and walk with nice smiles.

-- So Futari Saison is a song about holding something dear. And you have those feelings among yourselves.

Hirate: Yes, that's so. And there's something in the lyrics: "Looking down and pretending not to hear." I can be like that myself. There are lots of members who can be. At a point like that, you appear and take off my earphones. If you ask why they did that, the answer is "but wasn't that to meet the person who is dear to them?" It was in order to meet their important person. This song can't be gotten across in the dark, without eye contact. It's really a good song, and in the 21-person performance, can get surprisingly jolly. There are points where we split into three groups, but people are grinning all the time even then.

-- That's extremely interesting.

Hirate: Really?


I think all of Keyakizaka's songs are connected. I think there's a story running through all of them, not just through each song.


-- Now what about Sekai ni wa Ai Shika Nai?

Hirate: At first, I didn't know what [the English words] "identity" and "reality" meant. I had to look them up (laughs). The poetry reading was shocking. It was like staging a musical. After I say my lines of poetry, I touch Nagahama. At that touch, she suddenly becomes aware of and speaks what she feels at that moment. But it isn't simply speaking. The responsibility is huge, isn't it? It's reading poetry.

-- Yes, yes.

Hirate: But the protagonist... Someone like me doesn't really talk about romantic love. It's more family, it's school. It's not normally romantic love. So I just have to rush off into the rain and go and shout as hard as I can from the pedestrian bridge.... The present me is different from the me at the time of the recording. So my way of saying it has changed. Doing it at the One-Man Live, for the first time in a while, it was a bit different. But I think love is tremendously important.... This next thing isn't really about Sekai....

-- That's totally okay.

Hirate: I think all of Keyakizaka's songs are connected.  First, with Kimi ga Inai, there's awareness of how lonely you feel when someone you thought was there isn't. Then in Seifuku to Taiyou, you go to school there's nothing you want to do there, and you think you have no dreams. After that, I guess there's Saison. It says not to reject love. But in Sekai, you yourself realize you have to have love. Finally, in SaiMajo, you see the strong will you need to do something you want to do. It's not just one song, I think a story runs through all of them.

-- I see. But there's not just the difference between when you do the recording and when you do a song live. You must also change as you get older, it seems to me.

Hirate: That's probably true, too. Compared to the time of Sekai, perhaps my way of thinking has become more "adult." Every day now, it's like I'm wondering how much am I enjoying myself. I have to enjoy things. You only live once.... I guess I've become less shy than I was at that time. Now maybe you could say I turn into that poetry-reading protagonist. So I'm even different from the One-Man Live. Now I think: "I want to speak more like this." ... Oh, I really want to perform as soon as possible! (laughs)



To be honest, I don’t like my current self much. I want to change myself by any means possible. Or more like I want to detach myself from who I am now.




-- Wanting to speak "more like this" means you are always bringing the new self into existence.

Hirate: I'm creating more images. Where can I get them from? I want to absorb all kinds of things, go to all kinds of live performances, all kinds of films.

-- There are people who say that just reproducing the recording when one sings live is good work. But Hirate-san isn't like that: in something like doing the poetry-reading as your current self, I get the strong impression of things like self-confidence, conviction, and curiosity.

Hirate: Now I want to speak the lines more like they are in the lyrics, like making a speech. But as with "there's nothing but love," I want to show a self with determination.... Objectively, the protagonist wants to speak his poetry. Those aren't my feelings. How to put it.... I want to give the feeling that "that girl ran up the walkway and looked at the sky." As if the me who isn't the protagonist were speaking.

-- As if Hirate Yurina was acting as some kind of proxy for the protagonist in the song?

Hirate: Yes, like that. There's that feeling. I want to show something different every time.

-- I see. So the Saison you dance today will definitely be different from the Saison you dance tomorrow.

Hirate: Yes, it will be. I wonder what it will be like tomorrow (laughs). If I'm having fun maybe I will do it in a happier way. If something a bit sad has happened, maybe I will give it a sadder expression. And I think my voice has changed from the early days. My way of speaking, maybe? People often say they want to see the past me, but past is past, and all I can do now is now. So it's like please watch the me of today. The 16-, 17-, 18-, 20-year-old me will definitely no longer be able to express the 15-year-old me. So maybe it's like: "Please just watch the 15-year-old me as much as you like." (laughs)

Maybe rather than following other people, I'm doing more and more aspects of myself. When I make mistakes, I want people to tell me it was better before. If what they say is good, I'll think, "There's this possibility, too," and will want to go in various directions.

-- As soon as you are told, "It was better before," you yourself start changing further. Difficult.

Hirate: That’s right. Sometimes when I watch videos of past performances of SaiMajo and other songs, I think those performances are something totally different. Now, when the song starts, I’m able to enter the world-view of the song. Then, I couldn't do that. I just danced and sang without any further thought. That’s the reason I don’t get why the MV for Silent Majority got so much praise. On the other hand, maybe the Hirate Yurina who couldn’t enter the character was a good thing at that time.

-- Because there was a Hirate Yurina who couldn’t get inside the character, there is now a Hirate Yurina who knows what methods to use to do that. What kind of change do you think has happened to get from the one to the other?       

Hirate: I wonder… Even at the time of Sekai I didn’t think this way. It really happened recently. I’ve changed in various ways. However, it’s not like when I’m performing I’m always fully immersed in the song. There are times when I suddenly snap out of it.

-- You notice “Ah, now I’m my natural self”? You return to yourself?

Hirate: I suddenly realize: “Ah! I just went ahead and did that without thinking." This happens sometimes when I’m striding forward like “Moses” (in the choreography for Silent Majority). Then I recover, and go back to doing it as I intended -- or at least I think I do. But there’s still a me that just goes ahead and does things.

-- I see. You’re gradually changing, but the Hirate-san that doesn’t change -- or rather the part of you that is never different -- can’t allow that. It's as if it doesn’t fit.

Hirate: Yes. For example when I’m being featured in a magazine -- in the past, I wanted to have my hair in curls. I wanted to become an adult. But the make-up people do my make-up and my hairstyle to fit the clothes and the atmosphere of the shoot. The stylist, too, brings with them clothes that suit me. That brief moment may also be something to be cherished. I normally wear close-fitting uniforms and neatly styled hair, but when there’s a fashion magazine shoot I get outfits and make-up that match the atmosphere. So I've also changed in those areas. Now I feel like if I can find new selves in there, I want to find them!

-- You’re now in a mode where you want to say: keep making more and more different selves for me, please.

Hirate: Yes, that's what it's like. To be the same all the time isn’t fun. (laughs)

-- Indeed, therein lays the essence of yourself, doesn’t it?

Hirate: Why is that, I wonder?

-- If your idea is to have every day end end up having been enjoyable, perhaps you don’t feel alive when every day is the same?

Hirate: Aah, that’s part of it. I really do want to enjoy life. How should I put it…? To be honest, I don’t like my current self much. I want to change myself by any means possible. Or more like I want to separate myself from who I am now.

-- This feeling of wanting to get away from your current self; do you think that when you’re given a song and in your head enter the world-view of the protagonist, you come close to it, in that sense?

Hirate: I wonder… I don’t feel that it comes that close to it. But from time to time I perform on the basis of other people's feelings. I ask people in the staff how they felt when they listened to a song. And someone could say, for example： “Before, I felt like such-and-such, but listening to Silent Majority helped me." When I come across opinions like that, sometimes I perform using those people's feelings.

-- In other words, there are indefinitely many beings in this world. The feelings of all those people, possibly we don't live them, but maybe they’re somewhere in the feelings of that protagonist. Maybe there’s a sense of wanting to represent them according to our own understanding and our own impressions?

Hirate: There is. In this world there really are all sorts of people. Because the life of a person can only be conveyed by that person, I want to listen to many more people's stories and expand my range of characterizations.  And, looking at what I express -- boldness and so on -- I somehow want to keep taking steps forward. Because just having been born isn't enough, is it? Honestly speaking, I don’t know yet what I want to become or where I'm headed, but I’m living happily.

-- This has been a really enjoyable conversation.

Hirate: Eh --! But I have no idea what I’m talking about. (laughs)

-- Because it has been so enjoyable, I think I will absolutely listen to the story of the next Hirate Yurina, when the next single is made.

Hirate: Ah. Because you think I’ll be different again.

-- Please let me hear your story then.

Hirate: Of course. The fixed opinions I've had up to now -- I want to overturn them. Let’s constantly head towards new things.… That’s what the body of Keyakizaka songs is about, right? So we have to pursue it, too.

-- I’m really looking forward to it.

Hirate: I’ll do my best.

-- Thank you for today.

Hirate: Thank you!         
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Rockin' On Japan is a major Japanese music magazine specializing in the cleaner side of Japanese rock. Bands featured in recent issues include Unison Square Garden, Bump of Chicken, UVERworld, Alexandros, amazarashi, and One OK Rock. The April issue including this interview features miwa. The magazine -- through its editor-in-chief Koyanagi Daisuke, who conducted this interview -- prides itself on one-on-one interviews and well-sourced articles.
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Thanks to Timmeon for providing the scans of the article, for doing some of the initial translation, and for correcting many of my mistakes. I have reworked everything, however, and have to take responsibility for the errors and infelicities that remain.


I love this interview, and I think Hirate is open and honest. But I'm not sure if I really know her all that well even now. I thought her "other self" on stage was going to be a self in which her unconscious took over. But she speaks as if the other self she is thinking of is a self who, on the one hand enters fully into the character and embodies its feelings, but on the other hand establishes plans for conveying the character and then sticks with them, and wants to be as conscious as possible of what she is doing.

I do get the feeling that Hirate is still feeling her way. But she seems to be gaining strength, and pride in her abilities, and the confidence to display herself and what she feels to the audience. I tend to agree with her that she really doesn't quite know what she is talking about. But she knows what she wants to say, and that is what I want to hear.

What are the failings of the natural Hirate that she wants to get away from? Is it just her lack of confidence, and her lack of ability? Is it her shyness and social lack of ease? Is it that she is not as good at life as the on-stage Hirate is at performing? I still don't know.

Here are scans of the article, to allow anyone who can read Japanese to come up with their own answers. Click these and all other images to enlarge.