Fireworks, 220
Nagahama Neru2017.07.24
Hello!
Today's is a long post.
Probably more like an essay!!!!
Please read it when you have time.
Yesterday and the day before
In the Conifer Forest at Fuji-Q Highlands
We had our first open-air one-man live.
"Keyaki Republic" !!!!!
Water-balloons and water-guns and perspiration:
We were soaked o( ˆ‐ˆ )o
Hyaaa. I don't know where to begin.
Over these two days
I felt so much love.
To all those who came,
Thank you very much.
It was great.
It's because you were all there that it became the Keyaki Republic.
Sorry for getting you so wet.
I will definitely never forget everyone's smiling faces.
Nothing's absolute, but I think I absolutely will never forget!!
It's a treasure of memory.
With all of you who are what's called "fans,"
I experienced a connection
I have never felt before in my life.
Once-in-a-lifetime meetings,
Connections that transcend the screen,
Over and over you come to see us.
But your feelings got through to a miraculous extent.
We were strongly bound together.
I really felt the love.
I enjoyed the live from the bottom of my heart.
I thought during it that it was then I was most alive.
Although that may be going a bit far.
Making merry with my hair soaked,
Dancing, singing, running.
Ahh, I thought: is it okay to smile like this...?
Is it okay to put myself out there so much?
I don't love the me
Who has lived up to now.
How can I put it...
Maybe it's being a cynical observer,
Or suddenly turning cool.
I'm not good at enthusiasm.
I didn't like to join the big circle at cultural festivals or athletic festivals.
Waah. When I noticed myself having fun
I became detached and quieted down.
But I didn't have the guts to rebel against my teachers
I just lived trying not to be an obstacle
That caused people trouble.
I had nothing to forget myself in and no goal
It was somehow like having a heart that was completely empty.
I didn't know anything about it, but I wanted to get away to somewhere else.
I didn't know what there was anywhere else,
But I wanted to get away from where I was.
In some other world there must be things that are enjoyable, I thought.
With no proof of that, I entered the auditions.
And now two years have passed in rapid succession.
For the first time, I have found something to forget myself in.
About 350 days a year
I'm thinking how good it is to be in Keyakizaka.
But from time to time
I wonder if I am really suited for this.
To answer my own question,
Even though there are bitter things and sad things,
I think that is totally okay!
Being in Keyakizaka46 really is fun!
I want this time to last forever.
I thought that yesterday and the day before!
I want you to see the Keyakizak46 that exists now.
I want you to see the me that exists now.
The Keyakizaka46 that everyone has built is a treasure,
And I will enjoy the present as we keep feeling our way into the unseen future.
I want people to know Keyakizaka better!!!
I want them to come to Keyakizaka lives!!
Somehow, this post is not like me.
(´･_･`)
Keyakizaka46 is really blessed with its staff.
Yesterday, in the wings,
Seeing the stage director dancing to Te wo Tsunaide Kaerou ka
Made me feel relaxed and warm.
And the sound man
Was always hopping around like a DJ,
Sending out the live sound.
The lighting and the monitors, the whole production was insanely stylish.
The costumers went so far as to study how the skirts would swing.
When we came off stage, the managers
Passed out compresses to everyone.
And in the wings, the make-up people dried our wet hair
I don't know how many times.
And Takahiro-sensei.
This is the first time in my life that I have met someone
Who is worthy of respect in every part.
Truly, thank you very much for everything.
It seems that everyone who sees us wants to know,
But it's like: how to write the inside story?
I just love the whole Keyakizaka46 team.
As for the members...
Having met everyone
Is my greatest wealth.
I can't find the right words to express my feelings.
How to get them across...?
I love them!
I really love them!!! They're adorable!!!
It's so good that I met them!
Let's stay together from now on! Let's be together forever!
Especially since one's lifespan in this work is short,
And there is no such thing as forever.
But I feel that if we just enjoy the present, that's good enough!
And now the tour starts.
I want to keep making each live
The best live in Keyaki history.
I want to do lives with all 32 members.
(A staff person took the photo for me.)
Please continue be good to me from now on.
Thank you for reading.
Nagahama Neru
_____________________________________________________________ 170724 21:58h
That first photo was not in Neru's original blog.
The hatred for Neru in some quarters after the Sugai Showroom is overwhelmed by the love from tens of thousands of fans. But maybe that incident helped Neru think more of abandoning her ironic detachment. On the other hand, I doubt Neru will change completely. That sidelong point of view is pretty great, too. And it has got her this far. But a bit more directness will make her happier. Life goes on.
There's another, partial, translation of this post here, if you want to compare. This will go down as an important post in Neru blog history. Long, and even more personal than she sometimes can get. And still so well expressed.
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