She says that going to art college and being an idol at the same time is stretching her to her absolute limit. She can't try any harder. She has dreamed of art school since she was little. Being a member of Keyakizaka46 and going to art college are both decisions she has made herself. But she feels that doing either of them well involves short-changing the other.
Right now she is putting all her efforts into the one-man live next week, which has been one of the group's goals. She wants to give a good performance both for the fans' sake, and for the other members' sake.
She has thought of quitting art college. But she has also wondered what Keyakizaka would be like without her.
What a bombshell to drop just before Christmas. Here's her pic from the post:
oh no. she's one of my favourite members. the group would be lesser without her, but i hope she finds peace of mind regardless.
ReplyDeleteIt sounded to me as if she was more likely to drop school than Keyakizaka. Stay tuned.
ReplyDeleteSounds like she's trying to test the water. Maybe 1-2 couple singles after this one will help her make the decision. It might depends on her handshake results, she's one of the girls who I think have lots of potential and she just starts growing! I wish she'll stay
ReplyDeleteIf she centered, its decided haha but its impossible though.
ReplyDeleteFull disclosure:
ReplyDeleteI don't intend to bash on this article or express any negativity towards the writer, but I do need to point out the elephant in the room.
Unless we were reading very different texts, the contents of Shiori's blog were not quite as 'shocking' as what has been depicted here.
I have taken the freedom to translate the full post, as it didn't sit right with me to be having a discussion over something that's blown out of proportion. I'll attach it below and you may judge for yourself what you think Satoshi will do, but I hope it does give a clearer image to the people who are now worried that she might leave soon.
Absolute limit.
Recently, I've been wondering if there's something like an absolute limit.
An absolutely insurmountable limit.
I don't think I've ever done my best for something so much that I would reach my absolute limit.
I became an idol while attending art college.
These studies form the path that I decided upon back in elementary school.
Meanwhile, I became part of Keyakizaka, being an idol while attending art college.
I myself have decided to continue both of these paths.
Honestly speaking, while doing Keyakizaka activities, there are many times where I think about quitting college.
Every time that happens, I feel like such a weakling.
Even though I chose to start both of these myself, why can't I get things to work out as intended?
For all the fans,
I can't attend activities because of studies,
And while other members are there,
Having people think about me not being around is common,
And I regularly am overcome with a sorry feeling.
"It's a path I chose for myself"
"It's a path I chose for myself"
I keep repeating that to myself countless times.
Since way back, I've never been able to do many things at once.
That's why, I get so worried about the continuation of both paths every time.
It's not going as intended, and in my heart
I just want to scream out from the struggle.
Don't get ahead of your feelings.
That's really true.
But there are people who do the same thing, juggling two things at the same time.
Looking at the backs of those people doing their best like me, I feel like doing my best as well every time.
I want to do my best more with Keyaki's activities.
I want to build up actual ability so that I can move people with my performance.
I also want to become pretty.
I don't want want to forsake one for the other.
I want to improve my abilities and polish my individuality.
I want to be in a really good situation.
I should also do my best and aim for my absolute limit.
That's what I've been thinking recently.
In any case, right now,
I'm clinging on to what I was given,
and believe that the effort I put in is still very lacking.
First off, doing my best at dancing until the Christmas live is the number 1 thing on my mind right now.
So that my performance may reach
Even one more person
Even one seat further back
I want to do my best.
So that everyone who comes to visit becomes happy, and that they may return with similar happiness..
And even if one person left feeling unsatisfied, it's no good.
This has been one of the large goals we have as Keyakizaka46.
The solo live.
We will definitely make it succeed.
I'm sorry I'm so bad with words and it turned out so long.
See you tomorrow.
I have to agree, the original text is a lot different than this interpretation seems to suggest.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous -- Thanks for the translation. You've identified some things I slipped up on, particularly the headline. Ouch. But I don't feel as badly as I though I might, since in rereading the original post, I actually don't think the overall gist of my piece is that different:
ReplyDeleteShe is having trouble juggling the two, she feels she ends up short-changing both of them. She will try to work even harder, but she does wonder if she can continue with both.
For now, she will put her utmost effort into making the Christmas lives as good as possible. The subtext is that she can't say what will happen after that. I notice that she is not in the group that recorded the Nogizaka variety show recently. That is a reasonable sacrifice to allow her to do her best for the Christmas lives, while still getting a bit more school work done.
I did foul up the bit about thinking of K46 without her: she was imagining fans and/or members feeling she was away too often now.
In any case, thanks for the corrections. I felt badly that the piece became so widely read, because my sense was that she was still deciding what to do -- whether to put school in a hiatus or not. And that she was not likely to drop K46.
But the basic fact remains that she is having trouble balancing the two. It's true she says that there is still room to go to reach the limit, but she expresses only determination and not confidence that she can get that far.
Thanks again for your responsible approach. I'll do my best to copy it. I was so amazed that I rushed to get this out without fully analyzing her (as usual) long and convoluted post.