Nagahama Neru blog: Long post about her history with Hiragana/Hinata...and Keyaki.

Hinatazaka,  338

Nagahama Neru
2019.03.26


Good evening!

Today was sunny in Tokyo!
Spring weather!
It was so nice and warm that my feelings even became calmer.


A few days ago,

I happened to come across a place that made me think:
"Hey, haven't I been here before?"

Even in Tokyo,
I've noticed that there are places that give me a nostalgic feeling.
I get a feeling that's somehow a happy sadness.

Life in Tokyo....



Tomorrow,
Hinatazaka46's debut single
Kyun comes out.


For a little while now -- no, for a really long while
I have thought of writing about this.
So when you have the time to read it....



In 2015, as a member of Hiragana Keyaki,
I became an idol.




I was a one-man group.
But at the same time as I joined, the call went out for new members.
For everyone in Keyakizaka
It was really troublesome.

I was awfully confused.
I really found it hard to swallow.
It's quite unbearable to think about
What everyone's feelings were at that time.

Truly, thank you so much for working with me.


Right after that
With the love of all the staff
And the determination of all the members,
Keyakizaka46
Got many chances, even before debuting,
And took off at great speed.

Seeing them from up close
Was such a valuable thing for me
And the experience has always nourished me.




Silent Majority was playing
On Center Gai street in Shibuya
And huge billboards were plastered around.

I remember staring at them blankly and thinking
What an amazing world I was in.



I'm often asked about my feelings at that time.
The fact that I wasn't in Silent Majority
Didn't give me a millimeter of  regret or sadness.

I don't know whether that's good or bad,
But really not even a millimeter. That's how it was.



The members of Keyakizaka are all nice people
And it didn't matter that I was put in specially,
They didn't keep me separate, they accepted me.

All 20 of them were nice to me.
Nothing but warm, wonderful girls...
Just that is so amazing.
 

But then, for the 2nd single,
To sing with everyone
Made me so happy.

Since I was able to sing with everyone
I got to perform with them
At outdoor festivals and events.



That first year,
And that first song, Silent Majority
Were just the beginning.

With Overture playing,
Seeing everyone from the back as they went out onto that dazzling stage
At the moment I sent them off --
The video of that is burned vividly into my brain.


And I also clearly remember
The day I first went out there
With everyone...!!



And then
I met the Hiragana Keyaki 1gens,
Whom I had been waiting for.

I first met them at a magazine shoot.
Ayaka-chan just couldn't stop crying, lol.

I was happy to be able, recently
To talk with Aya-chan about our memories of that time.



In that first period,
I was able to attend very few of their lessons.
I'm not good at dancing and singing.
They must have been disappointed.

As they all kept improving steadily,
The gap between them and me, who did not bring much ability, was painful.


Since I should have been a bit ahead of them,
My lack of skill made me feel pathetic.

But I have to be able to do it,
I have to...!

That's the responsibility I put on myself.
 

The thing that changed how I felt
Was the Zepp tour.


For the first performance, at Zepp Tokyo,
Our first solo live,
The rehearsals piled up day after day.

That was the drama time, too,
So I couldn't make it to even one rehearsal.
And the day was approaching.



When Hiragana Keyaki performed Keyakizaka songs,
Just from lack of manpower, I was put there in the centre.
I was so, so scared.


Of course
I gave it everything I had,
But the live that day
Was really disappointing.
I remember it even now.

I wonder if I've written about that before...


After that, we were on the tour,
And I grew closer to everyone.



As we spent more and more time together,
It became harder to hide the parts I couldn't do.

That was no good if I was going to be a cool senpai!!
So I gave up being one. ٩( 'ω' )و lol

We worked hard together.
To be the one depending on them and following
Was totally uncool
But I came to think that with them
It was okay.


From then on, I quickly grew closer to them,
And had a wonderful time.



As for the double-duty
There were various factors,
But being able to organize myself was a big one.


So after that
I dropped the double-duty and became a member of Kanji Keyaki alone.

I can never thank the staff enough
For protecting me.
The people on the Keyakizaka staff
Think first of our minds and bodies.



I hear a lot of "what if" voices,
But I'm happy about all of this.



But this was right in the middle of the Zepp tour.

What happened was in very bad faith,
And I apologize deeply
To everyone who supported me.



Everyone, all the way through,
Treasured Hiragana Keyaki.




This has gotten pretty long...
But I'm going to write more.



The 2gens and 3gen joined
And, treating everything that came as an opportunity,
They earnestly built themselves up
Until suddenly
They became a group many, many people love.

And finally, tomorrow is their debut!

I'm happy from the bottom of my heart.
Truly, congratulations on your debut...!

Perhaps it's not I who should say this,
But truly, truly thank you
For treasuring Hiragana Keyaki
And continuing to protect them.



I was given the chance to go to their Debut Countdown Live
At Yokohama Arena recently.


For the Hiragana Keyaki Last Live
Lots of videos from the past were woven in.


In those,
Up to Hiragana Keyaki's Eien no Hakusen,
The Hiragana Keyaki I was part of still exists,
Along with images of myself as an idol.

To have my time with them affirmed like this
Made it a live that somehow lightened my heart.


I was able to think that it was good I became an idol,
And feel stronger, with everyone's help.

That day
Watching such a wonderful, first-class live,
Was really blissful.



The moment I heard the debut single, Kyun,
I fell in love with it.
Even at the whispered lines in it
I just went ahead and felt awkward and fidgety.

I also recommend the song Mimi ni Ochiru Namida. Be sure to!


I also really love Kimi ni Hanashite Okitai Koto,
Which is on Keyakizaka46's Kuroi Hitsuji release!!!

That being played at handshake events
Along with the kind words of all of you who came,
Many times made me come close to tears.


I have written so much
But I wonder if I have really
Done a good job of getting across
My congratulations to Hinatazaka46 on their debut.



These days, we are rehearsing
For our Anniversary Live!


I'm loving Keyakizaka46 songs all over again
And the members and I
Are laughing at silly little things and having fun....

And passing our days happily!



My final day has not yet been decided,
But I will be taking part in activities up to July,
So please keep treating me well for a while yet.

 

A few days ago,
The Keyakizaka 1gens and 2gens
And the Hinatazaka 1gens, 2gens, and Hinano-chan
All had a chance to eat together.
And to be excited about the future!!

Everyone related so happily.
Just to see them is to feel warm and comfortable.


It was a night when I kept thinking: I want to know everyone better!



Things happen every day,

But to have the members there
To protect and help me
Remain firm,
This is something that, any time, any place, throughout my life
I want to be able to rush back to.


To have met such important beings!
As a person alone, this is something I keep thinking about intently.


It's the first time I've felt this way toward anyone...

At the Hinatazaka live.
Memi is waving...! Memi-chaaan!



This may be the longest blog post I've ever done, lol.
And hard to read, eh...

Thank you for reading.

Nagahama Neru

_____________________________________________________

posted 2019.03.26   22:05h

That's Memi in white waving, lower right, just above the handrail.

With graduation looming, this is just the beginning of the flowing angst we may get from Neru the writer. I'll take it all.

I was glad to see her apologize for leaving Hiragana Keyaki in the middle of their tour. The way she played her role as ur-Hiragana is the one thing I hold against her. But the 1gens love her, so I guess she did good things for them when she was there.

On the other hand, I was very glad to hear that the entire group -- all branches and generations of Keyakizaka -- got together for a meal to mark the departure of Hiragana.

And to see Neru honestly and accurately describe her singing and dancing ability was great, so like Neru. I myself think that one of the main reasons she is graduating is that she realizes her abilities do not lie in the core idol competencies of song and dance, and she should be developing the things she is good at already, in acting and comedy and TV interview shows. 

Sorry that my translation of this post is late. The post came out on Tuesday. But I have been busy greeting the arrival of Hinatazaka on the scene. And this post is really long, lol.