Kakizaki Memi: Long and revealing interview from Idol & Read magazine

 

Kakizaki Memi -- Hiragana Keyakizaka46

20,000 word interview from IDOL AND READ magazine #013, December 2017

With our increase in numbers, I want us to grow into a major group that is as well-known as Kanji Keyaki. 




Interviewer -- I’d like to start by hearing about the time before you entered Hiragana Keyaki. To begin with, please tell me about your family structure. You have an elder sister, don't you? 

Memi: Yes. My mother and father and a sister two years older. Four people.

-- And you come from Nagano prefecture.

Memi: I grew up in Nagano.



--What kind of child were you when you were little? What do people around you say about you?

Memi: People say that when I was little, I was no trouble at all.

-- A good girl, so to speak?

Memi: A good girl...yes, I guess so (laughs). Everyone says I didn’t make much disturbance. But I wasn’t really passive, and in elementary school I became quite active.

-- Active? 

Memi: I had a huge number of friends. Played soccer, climbed trees. In school I was the year-rep, etc. I was that type of girl.

-- A fast runner and good at sports. And a pretty good student? 

Memi: I'm not sure. My marks weren’t bad, but I think I was someone the teachers wanted to be more serious about things.

-- Did you do any outside lessons? 

Memi: I did various things. I studied piano from grade one to grade six, and rhythmic gymnastics from nursery school to around grade two or three. After that, I had to join a local sports club, and was sort of forced to play handball and softball. But I was more or less a “ghost member.”

-- By “forced to join” you mean that local kids there had to do it?

Memi: In areas where there are more people it’s free participation, and those who want to join do, but where I lived there weren’t many children, so everyone had to join.

-- Was it that sparsely populated a place? 

Memi: No. Although it’s in the middle of Nagano, I don’t think it’s that rural.

-- Rhythmic gymnastics and piano, were those things you decided to try on your own? 

Memi: My sister did rhythmic gymnastics first, and that’s why I wanted to do it. She said she wanted to try piano, and although I was already going into gymnastics, I went along with her and was told: “Why don’t you do it too?” It wasn’t that I was so enthusiastic, but I sort of went with the flow and began.

-- What was the timing of your stopping gymnastics and piano? 

Memi: The people who wanted to continue piano kept doing it in middle school. Most people were in a class that stopped when they graduated from elementary school. So it ended after grade six. As for rhythmic gymnastics, my sister stopped first, so I came to dislike it and quit. Thinking about it now, it would have been good to really have done it more.

-- Because it would have been good for your current activities? 

Memi: Yes. And even before I thought of entering Keyakizaka, from around middle school, I watched a lot of figure skating and thought how beautiful it was. The way you use your body in rhythmic gymnastics is somewhat similar, isn’t it? So I regret not continuing and doing it properly.

-- Piano and rhythmic gymnastics must have involved recitals. You had no reluctance to perform in front of people? 

Memi: I'm not sure. In any case, I don’t think I was the type who was always eager to get out there. I wasn’t someone who really enjoyed standing up in front of other people.

-- You followed your sister there and did those things, but that’s a different matter from whether you liked them or not. Your sister’s influence was very strong, then. 

Memi: It was. Many of my interests, and the things I got interested in, were influenced by my sister.

-- You weren’t someone whose strong point was standing up in front of people, so when did you start getting interested in idols? 

Memi: When I was watching YouTube in first-year middle school, Nogizaka46 videos happened to come on. That was the impetus. I really got into them from then on. Because I admired Nogizaka46, I took the audition.

-- Were you interested in idols before that? 

Memi: Not at all.

-- Even though you were someone with no interest in idols, you happened to find Nogizaka46 on YouTube. What about them resonated with you so much? 

Memi: At that time, I had really gotten fat. After graduating from elementary school, I went to a middle school where I knew no-one. I really hated that.

-- You mean you felt stress. 

Memi: It was stress. During the spring break, just before the entrance ceremony, I suddenly got fat. When I entered middle school, I found myself really missing my elementary school friends, and had all kinds of anxieties. When I saw Nogizaka46, you could say that the gap between us really hit me, and I came to hate myself. From then, I slimmed down, and became more cheerful.

-- The story has taken a sudden jump (laughs). May I hear about that period in more detail? First, why didn’t you go to the middle school in your area? 

Memi: We moved, and I went in the next town. The school district changed, and suddenly I was going to an areaI didn’t know.

-- Ah, that would have been unpleasant. The other students all came from the same school, so they would have been saying “Who’s she?” 
 
Memi: Yes, that’s true. The students came from two elementary schools and even though they were in the same class, they grouped themselves together with kids from their original school. One group was extremely rambunctious, and the other was extremely quiet. I wasn’t in either group, but right in the middle. The loud group was always noisy, and I found that very unpleasant. When there was something to do properly, I wanted to do it. But the well-behaved group was really well behaved, and wasn’t interesting at all!

-- That’s bluntly said! (laughs) 

Memi: I would have been happy to be in either group. During breaks, I was with the rambunctious kids. In class, I was like the quiet ones. So the feeling was: “Which one are you with?”

-- Like, which faction are you with? 

Memi: So I went on without really having a place. I wasn’t able to get close to anyone, and wondered what on Earth I could do. Then there was my suddenly getting fat, which was a huge shock when I noticed it. I figured that the kids around me would have noticed it, too. They may not really have noticed, but that’s what I thought.




I suddenly got fat. I had a lot of anxieties. When I saw Nogizaka46, I ended up hating myself. Then I lost weight and became happier.




-- You worried that everyone was saying: “She’s gotten fat, hasn’t she?” 

Memi: Yes. I got more and more negative. It got so bad that my teacher was worried, and I got sick. But then I discovered Nogizaka46...and got even sicker. (laughs)

-- Because there were such beautiful people? 

Memi: Yes. And there were plenty of members who had been bullied.

-- And this made you feel that if you could be a member of Nogizaka46, you would really shine.

Memi: Because of that, the huge gap between them and me really made me feel badly. Although when I lost weight I gained a bit of confidence, and became more cheerful.

-- But you were never really teased about your weight by the people around you, were you?

Memi: No, I wasn’t. But I had the feeling that everyone around me didn’t like me, so I was afraid of meeting people's eyes.

-- To decide to slim down after seeing Nogizaka46 and then to actually do it is an amazing story. 

Memi: But I didn’t really make an intentional effort, I just wondered how I could slim down.

-- Was it from working hard in sports? 

Memi: Possibly. I think I just decided not to eat, but I don’t have any memory of it being difficult. I suddenly got fatter, then suddenly slimmed down. I met up with my elementary school friends sometimes, and when we met that spring, they apparently thought I had gotten really fat. They told me that later. When we got together during the summer of second year, they said they were surprised how much I had slimmed down.

-- Since you weren’t originally fat, it was definitely just something temporary, wasn’t it? What was it like in class after you had slimmed down?

Memi: I ended up with the rambunctious kids. But those kids quieted down.

-- Ohh! Growing up and quieting down, eh (laughs).

Memi: Me being me, I was able to just say it: "Be quiet!” I was able to become friends with them and caution them about things. I became able to be with people.

-- Getting rid of your complex was a big thing, wasn’t it?

Memi: Yes. I thought about it a lot, and came to think that it wasn’t that other people hated me, but that I myself was avoiding people. With that in mind, I was able to talk with people normally, and to be accepted by them.

-- Nagahama Neru introduced you on Keyakitte, Kakenai as being quite a blunt person. That’s from being able to tell your friends directly to be quiet, I guess.

Memi: I did say it (laughs). It’s not that I will say anything, but when I do think something is bad, I’ll say it.

-- By the way, what were you like at home, with your family?

Memi: At home, on the other hand, I was very quiet. Isn't there a saying: “Domineering at home...”? I was the opposite: domineering in public (laughs). That’s strange Japanese, though. With my grandma, I hardly spoke at all. I was so quiet that they worried about me. But at school I was the year rep and did all kinds of things. Kind of unbelievable.

-- Did your grandma live with you? 

Memi: After school, I didn’t go home, but to my family’s workplace. My grandma and my mother and my aunt and uncle were all there. After school, they were always there.

-- Why didn’t you return home? 

Memi: Because there was no-one there. (laughs)

-- Because there was no-one at home, you went to their workplace, but when you were there, you didn’t speak with your relatives at all. 

Memi: I didn’t talk at all and just stayed quiet.

-- What about your sister? 

Memi: During elementary school, for some reason my sister didn’t like me, and it was a bit of a quarrelsome relationship. But from the time I entered middle school, she became really affectionate. Now we’re very close, like good friends.

-- Ah, as with brothers, the relations between sisters can have troublesome periods. Maybe because you were with her wherever she went, she got the attitude: “Don’t follow me!” 

Memi: Quite so. It felt like she was saying: "You're not wanted.” I don’t know why. I always loved her. (laughs)

-- To return the conversation to school, you were the president of the Art Club, were you not? What are the details of that? 

Memi: I did say that I had no friends at first. So when I was was thinking what club to join, my sister was in the Art Club, so I joined that.

-- Basically, you kept following your sister. 

Memi: That’s true. (laughs)

-- And as things went on, you became president. 

Memi: There were lots of quiet, well-behaved kids, so I was recommended.

-- You didn’t actively go after it, but in the end you did it. This pattern seems to recur a lot. By the way, did you take any lessons outside school? 

Memi: English conversation.

-- Why that? 

Memi: Because it was in the neighbourhood. (laughs)

-- Simple! Let’s go on. As your middle school life went on, you encountered Nogizaka46. After that, you must have found out that Keyakizaka46 was being started. Yet you let the first auditions pass without taking them.

Memi: Yes, I let them pass. I was afraid to take them, and quit without telling anyone about it. I didn't even tell my parents I was interested. There was also the question of how I would feel if I failed. I really couldn’t have taken that.

-- But you were still attracted by it? 

Memi: Yes. When I saw the photo of the successful members, I had huge regrets.

-- Like: “If I had been accepted, it could have been me standing there.” 

I was afraid to take the audition and didn’t go through with it. But I ended up regretting that tremendously. So I was determined to take the audition if there was another chance.

 

Memi: So I thought that if there were another chance, I would definitely take the audition. When I learned that there would be auditions for Hiragana Keyaki, I applied.

-- Who was the first person you talked about it with? 

Memi: I told my sister first. After that I told my mother. My sister was like: “What a good idea.” And she took the photo for me.

-- What was your mother’s reaction? 

Memi: She didn’t pay much attention. She probably didn’t think I’d be accepted.

-- And then...

Memi: I was accepted. (laughs)

-- Please talk about the process. First you got through the written part, right? 

Memi: I’d even forgotten about it when the notification came that I’d got through. Since that meant I’d have to go to Tokyo, I spoke with my father.

-- You hadn’t told him until then? 

Memi: My father is the kind of person who would tell everyone around him, so I wanted as much as possible not to let him know. So the first time I told him, he went with me to Tokyo. After that, I went there with him a second and third time.

-- What were your impressions? 

Memi: The second time was the most nerve-wracking. From the start, the atmosphere was really tense. An atmosphere I didn’t understand was flowing through the waiting room. I felt quite out of place. There were girls like me who were quite quiet, and girls who made friends with people at their table right away. I thought those were the kind of girls who would probably be chosen. They seemed to have amazing social skills.

-- Why did you feel out of place?

Memi: I wondered if it was okay for a country girl to be in a place like this.

-- I see. There were people there who were used to auditions, etc. But this was the first time that you had actually been to an audition. Is that right? 

Memi: Yes. I was a total first-timer. I didn’t understand anything.

-- What did you think when you were still there for the final audition? 

Memi: I was just scared. I’ve advanced so easily, I thought. It didn’t feel real at all. Even in the audition hall, I kept thinking: “What am I doing here?”

-- Even though that’s how you felt, you advanced smoothly to the second and third auditions.

Memi: After passing the third audition, they explained about the Showroom broadcasts to us. “To do something like this!” I thought. I kept thinking that I didn’t want to be dropped after having my face out in public.

-- Doing a net broadcast would mean showing your face to the world. Hadn’t you been talking to your friends? 

Memi: I told them after I got to the stage of being about to do the Showrooms. I kept quiet about it up until then.

-- But weren’t there people around you who had seen that you were going to be on Showroom? 

Memi: It seems that there were juniors in my club who liked Nogizaka46, etc. There was a big buzz around the school. Lots of people even came when we were doing club activities just to look at me. Or so I thought (laughs). I had the feeling it was slowly spreading all around the school.

At first, not expecting my name to be called, I wasn’t paying attention when it was.... It wasn’t like happiness, it was a strange feeling.

-- All the more reason you couldn’t fail. And then you qualified for Hiragana Keyakizaka46 without incident. What were your feelings when you were accepted? 

Memi: None. I had no idea my name would be called first, so I wasn’t paying attention when it was. I was like “What?” and thought only that I had to step forward. The lights were so bright. I was just sighing. It wasn’t like happiness, it was a strange feeling. "What is going to happen from now on?"

-- Naturally you had some feeling of accomplishment, but you couldn’t imagine what was going to happen in the future. What was your family’s reaction? Didn’t you say that they had not expected you to be accepted? But you were. Some families oppose it even after acceptance.

Memi: There was no opposition. My family supported me in everything. I think they were happy. My father had a weird confidence in me. He was like: “I thought you'd be accepted.”

-- The explanation is that he supported you so much that he was sure you would be accepted (laughs). But after acceptance, your circumstances suddenly changed, did they not? 

Memi: After being accepted, my life changed completely. Compared to Tokyo, Nagano is the countryside. It was exhausting. Going to Shibuya and so on made me feel worse and worse. I really hated it. At first, I couldn’t get used to it at all. 

-- Getting used to the big city is tough, but how were the lessons, etc.? How was it, dancing and so on? 

Memi: In 5th grade, a friend invited me to some dance lessons, and I did a bit of dancing. But I really wasn’t into it at all. There were lots of little kids, and the dancing was adapted to their level.

-- Like a local dance studio. 

Memi: Yes. And I wasn’t good with younger kids (laughs). I didn’t like it, and quit within a year. So I really didn’t like dance then at all. But after doing it seriously (in Hiragana Keyaki), I found I enjoyed it a lot. Now I really like dancing. The lessons themselves were really tough, but they were very enjoyable, no hardship at all.

-- Was there anything you found a hardship when you were beginning your activities? 

Memi: It was hard that my time away from my family kept increasing.

-- As for that, you are someone who can feel lonely, aren’t you? 

Memi: At the very beginning, the members thought that I was someone with a cool image who liked to be left alone. But that’s not true at all. Lately, they say I’m like a rabbit.

-- Someone who could die from being alone. 

Memi: Yes. But in the past, I acted standoffish.

-- Your expressions don’t seem to give the image of someone who is lonely. 

Memi: I didn’t show it at all.

-- How was building relationships with the members? Did you fit in with them right away? 

When I joined, I was the youngest member. Everyone was older than me. But I like older people, so I was really happy, and relaxed right away.

-- So you began activities as a member of Hiragana Keyakizaka46. There would have been a lot of firsts. Weren’t there things that really bewildered you? For instance, your first photo shoot. 

Memi: At my first photo shoot, I didn’t know what to do at all, but I enjoyed doing it. I really knew nothing, and was just floating. And right after being accepted, I had a lot of confidence in myself, and enjoyed everything.


-- You didn’t know anything, but you had confidence? 

Memi: Yes.

-- But did something make you lose confidence?

Memi: Yes. Every day. In performance and in how they looked, I saw the members around me steadily improving, and I felt disappointed. Everyone was becoming prettier, but I wasn’t changing.

-- I see.

Memi: At TV recording sessions, I wasn’t speaking at all in the studio, while I watched the members around me speaking. Watching the broadcast, I kept seeing that they weren’t using what I did say. These things kept piling up and I lost confidence.

-- In all this, was there something that most got you down? 

Memi: Most got me down? I think that Bokutachi wa Tsukiatteiru was the time that most got me down

-- Last spring, eh. May I ask why? 

Memi: Up until then, Nagahama Neru and I were double centres. On Bokutachi wa Tsukiatteiru, Neru was centre and I was just behind her. It was a confusing formation. It was as if there was a first row, then me, then the second row.

-- You were like a one-person row 1.5, then. 

Memi: Yes. That time really got me down. It wasn’t that I particularly wanted to be centre, but I still didn’t want to be demoted. I ended up keeping a close eye on those around me and just hated the feeling that they were thinking I had been demoted.

-- You were thinking that those around you were being careful in what they said to you? 

Memi: Exactly! Just that.

-- On the other hand, when you were picked out and made double centre, what were you thinking? 

Memi: At that time I was thinking: “Is it really okay for me to be in such a position?” Although that was an inexcusable thing to think. Nevertheless, I didn’t want to be dropped back. Quite contradictory.

-- I think that having two feelings like those at the same time is quite common. I don’t think there’s anyone who wouldn’t want to stand at the front of a group they themselves had decided to join, despite the pressure. And on the other hand, I think those who are at the back or on the edge want to move to a better position. 

Memi:  Wanting what you don’t have, I guess. But at that time, I hated my questionable position. To be placed clearly in the first or the second row would have taken me less time to accept, but I was in something like row 1.5. Why couldn’t I be one pace forward? Lots of thoughts came to my mind. 

-- We’ve gotten a bit ahead of ourselves. Please let’s go back a bit. Do you remember your feelings the first time you stood on stage? 

Memi: It was probably the mini-live at a national handshake event. I was extremely nervous that time, too, but as soon as I stepped out on stage, wow! It was so much fun.

-- At that point, you didn’t feel any stage fright at all.

I had never stood in front of a huge crowd of thousands, or tens of thousands. I couldn’t imagine it. I think that’s why I wasn’t scared.

-- Last December at Ariake Coliseum was the first one-man live. How was that? 

Memi: It was very, very enjoyable. Dare Yori mo Takaku Tobe! was particularly enjoyable. It seems to me that it was there we made that song our own. I thought we showed the Hiragana image of being active and cheerful. It was the first time I felt a sense of accomplishment.

-- You got a response. 

Memi: Even now, Dare Tobe is the song that gets everyone excited at our lives. And the members love it, too. Up to then, we hadn’t realized it could be a song like that. It’s a feeling like: all we have to do is sing that song. It was at Ariake that that became our song.

-- Getting to 2017, there was the Hiragana Keyaki one-man live, and the tour started. The live events involving all of Keyakizaka46 must differ in various ways from the Hiragana solo lives.

Memi: They were totally different. Hiragana Keyaki... Just when we were wondering if it was okay to be compared with Kanji Keyaki, we were told we were getting a tour. So we threw everything into the tour. Everyone said: “Let’s really do our best, eh.” We had no name recognition. When people think of “Keyakizaka46,” they have an image of Kanji Keyaki, don’t they? That’s still true now, for sure.

-- Fans and people who know idols might, but you may be right about the general public. 

Memi: So we all were thinking: “Are we really needed?” To then get a tour to do made us all catch fire. Our feelings toward each thing we did were extremely strong.

So we were all thinking: “Are we really needed?” To then get a tour to do made us all catch fire. 

-- That came through. The feelings were carried over to the audience, and we caught fire, too.

Memi: Despite that, the first live was a shambles. It was the first time we had done a live entirely on our own...although there was the Omotenashikai.

-- It was the first time Hiragana Keyaki had done a real concert, as opposed to an event.

Memi: Yes. It was the first. We tried it, and it was no good. We had no sense of accomplishment at all. We felt apologetic toward the people who had come. Honestly, it was just no good. It did not go well. We were all determined to make the next live a success. Our next live at Zepp Namba was a lot of fun, and I think we did make it a good live. Having done that, we wanted to keep doing our best and piling up good lives. And we heard from more and more people that our lives were good.

-- And Hiragana Keyaki’s confidence grew. It’s a bit of a digression, but I was wondering what Kakizaki-san’s feelings were in March, when the tour started, so I looked in your blog. You were writing about putting on your own makeup for the first time. (laughs) 

Memi: How nostalgic! Before joining, I had never put on make-up.

-- But by March, you had been in the group for quite a while! 

Memi: For sure (laughs). I didn’t like makeup, and as much as possible avoided using it. But that time, I got the notion of trying it myself. How embarrassing (laughs). Now I do it normally.

-- That’s how people change (laughs). To return to the story: last spring, there was a call for applications for new members to add to Hiragana Keyaki. Please tell me what you thought at that time. 

Memi: Ehhh... Well, it really hit me. It was a shock. In the beginning, we were recruited to be unders. How we were seen was gradually changing, and we all liked the idea of continuing as a 12-member group.

-- You’d gotten good response at Zepp Namba. 

Memi: Yes. There was also the tour, and we had just gotten things in hand. It was unbelievable! It was terrible when we were told. Everyone cried (laughs). I was so upset. I felt so bad that I was hyperventilating.

-- This is not a nice way of saying it, but did you end up thinking: “Hiragana Keyaki isn’t good enough, so they’re recruiting new members”? 

Memi: Yes, that’s exactly what it was like. We all said: “I guess 12 people was really no good.”

-- You were searching for the meaning of your existence, and you were finding it in the solo tour, and then there was the call for applications to add members.

Memi: There was even talk of quitting.

-- So it was that bad. And since the decision had been made, you had no choice but to accept it. How did you change your thinking? 

Memi: The staff said the same thing to us: “You just have to accept it.” But...(groan). It was a shock at first, but we ended up thinking we should just not think about it, and enjoy the time the 12 of us had together.

-- At first, it was quite difficult to accept. Thank you very much for telling us how you felt. But the new members have now joined. How is it now? 

Memi: We’ve still only met them three times [this interview took place in late October], so it’s only from now on that we will be finding out what kind of people they are. I’m no longer the youngest member, and for there to be younger members than me is a strange feeling. Watanabe Miho appears in our drama Re:Mind, and to see Katou Shiho being friendly with her makes me jealous. She doesn’t come to me at all any more (laughs).

-- At the end of September, Nagahama Neru was released from her double role and became a member of Kanji Keyaki alone, did she not? What are your thoughts about that? 

Memi:  Having watched Neru doing double duty, I think it’s a good thing.

-- Oh, I see. 

Memi: It really seemed tough. She could hardly participate in tour practices at all. This was never her fault, but seeing her always apologizing to everyone, I thought that she would someday have to stop being with both groups. I didn’t know which group she would end up being a member of, but I thought the day was coming. In any case, I thought it was really hard on her.

-- You mean she was so busy. 

Memi: Really. I thought: “If she keeps on like this, she’ll collapse.” So although I was naturally very sad, it couldn’t be helped. I think it was a good thing.

-- Seeing how busy Neru was, you had thought it would be good to release her. 

Memi: Thinking of Neru, it felt as if she should have done it sooner.

-- But what about the group? No mistake about it, she was a huge existence, right? 

Memi: Neru was the reason we exist. It’s because Neru existed that we exist. Her popularity was overwhelming. At lives, there was a sea of Neru towels. I think Neru was better known than all of Hiragana. For such a central figure to be gone was huge. I wondered if we would be all right. 


 
There was also the tour, and we had just gotten things together. We all said: “I guess a 12-person group is no good.”



-- Won’t the central figure who leads Hiragana Keyaki now be Kakizaki-san? 

Memi: If that were to come aboutI would want to do it, but I don’t think I’m strong enough.

-- Come on (laughs). With juniors coming in, isn’t this the time for change? 

Memi: I guess that’s true.... But, what can I say...right now I don’t have that much confidence. I have to get the point where you can say I'm stronger....

-- I think there are a lot of fans with great hopes for you. But let’s change the subject now. Hiragana Keyaki became able to do solo lives, and appeared in a concert tour with the entire Keyakizaka group. I think you must have been able to learn and absorb things then. What about that? 

Memi: On the summer tour, the distance between us and the Kanjis got smaller. Up to now, they have seemed like beings above the clouds. To become friends with them.... It made me terribly unhappy.

-- What do you mean? 

Memi: Because there’s such a huge gap between us. In rehearsals, while waiting for our turn we watch them on stage, and think that they differ from us in every way. With the distance between us reduced, we see the difference. Their number of appearances on stage, how cool their performance is. I admire them, and I feel terrible.

-- You appeared with them on TV shows, as well, not just in concerts, didn’t you? And you still felt as if they were like heavenly beings?

Memi: Yes, we did. The Kanji-sans were completely different existences.

-- Even to the extent that you call them the “Kanji-sans.” But aren’t you friends with Hirate Yurina? There's no distance there, is there?
 
Memi: In private life, that’s true.

-- So you’re saying work is a different thing. By touring with the members of Keyakizak46, you became closer to them, and clearly understood their greatness. 

Memi: Yes. I think about how to become like them, but no answers come. It really troubles me.

-- As for that, won’t that come from the things called “lives”? Keyakizaka46 perform more easily on stage because they've done more media performances.

Memi: Maybe so. During the tour, we heard things like: “Without Hiragana, the mood would have stayed dark all through.” (laughs) We show our bright colours, and sweep the audience up and carry it along with us, it seems to me. I want to do more lives.

We show our bright colours and sweep the audience up and carry it along with us. I want to do more lives.



-- Do you have a goal for yourself right now? 

Memi: I haven’t thought about personal goals. I think I just have to work as hard as I can right now. What I myself want to do, I still don’t know. I’ve been given the chance to act in the drama, and have had other challenges. It would be great if I could find something that suited me.

-- How was acting? 

Memi: I enjoy acting work. In the first episode of Re:Mind, I was so wooden that even I laughed watching it (laughs). But as the episodes built up, I think I got better, and I’d like to try more acting.

-- Besides live performances, there's acting, photo-shoots, variety – various kinds of work. Which one seems to suit you best? 

Memi: It was a lot of fun being on the drama set continuously, but during that period we also sometimes had rehearsals for live events, and I found myself really happy. I thought that I really did want to do lives.

-- So singing and dancing is in fact your main thing. 

Memi: Yes.

-- You’re still searching for your personal goal, but what about the group? 

Memi: With the increase in our numbers, I want Hiragana Keyaki to grow so that it becomes a major group that is as well known as Kanji Keyaki. We’re gradually building up more and more of our own original songs. Looking at our set lists recently, we’ve all been surprised. Up to now, we’ve only had about three or so of our own songs, and had to do mainly Kanji songs. But now more than half of the songs are our own. It’s inspiring: “We have so many songs now.”

-- Saying that, it’s about time to close. Over the conversation, I’ve gotten an impression of someone gentle. But somehow the impression of you doing battle with Moriya Akane-san [of Keyakizaka46] remains strong. 

Memi: Hahaha. Did you think I would be harsher?

-- I wouldn’t go as far as harsh, but more obstinate-seeming.

Memi: Ah, that (laughs). I am a bit obstinate.


__________________________________________________________

Interview and text: Namba Kazumi 南波一海　  
Photography: Miyawaki Susumu 宮脇進 (PROGRESS-M)  
Hair and Make-up: Ooniwa Manaka 大庭愛香 (MAXSTAR)  
Stylist: Ouchi Kimika 尾内貴美香

from Idol & Read magazine 013, December 2017. Amazon Japan
 

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

translator's comments:

Such unnecessary but inevitable suffering. Emotionally, I found this interview hard to read. Memi's powerful self-criticism reminds me a bit of Hirate.

I wanted to read this piece because Memi said somewhere that she had talked about things in it that she hadn't ever spoken of before. I guess that means she wants us to know about this pain. As always, Memi seems real. Even if she is good at hiding her inner pain. There are several things in this piece that I thought at the time might have bothered her -- like her position in Bokutachi wa Tsukiatteiru -- and now I know they did.

I actually have a photo of Memi during her "fat" period, when she might have been 12 or so. It's not so bad, but I won't be posting it. I guess it's to be expected that one of her "friends" from that time might let it slip out.

Now that Hiragana's amazing three nights at Budoukan have ended with the announcement of a Hiragana album, they are racing even more quickly up that slope toward Kanji Keyaki. Will they become "as well-known"? Time will tell. A key will be whether a star or two emerges and enters the public mind.