19 years old, 232
Nagahama Neru2017.09.06
Good evening.
On September 4th, I turned 19!
19 years old...
Just one step short of 20 [and being an adult].
What a frustrating age.
Congratulations to Takahiro-sensei, too!
We were able to celebrate our birthdays together ( ◜࿀◝ )
Truly, thank you very much:
To my parents who raised me,
To everyone who has had anything to do with my life.
When I read what I wrote in my blog a year ago on my birthday,
I see that my thinking has completely changed.
My basic nature can't have changed,
But maybe I've become weaker over the past year.
Certainly
This has been my year of most encounters ever
With my weak self and the self you first met.
At this time last year, Hiragana Keyaki
Was still just doing lessons, and hadn't really started.
Thinking of that, this year has been really full.
First one-man live.
Kouhaku.
Hiragana Keyaki national tour.
1st anniversary live.
Drama.
Keyaki Republic.
Summer national tour...
This year has been nothing but big events.
And I was given the stimulus of being put in the front line.
All the while not knowing whether I would get through it,
I gained a hundred years' worth of experience.
What am I lacking?
Where am I completely hopeless?
Flaws, defects, weak points...
Seen by those around me, there may be even more of them.
But I know that the number one thing was being together every day.
The fragility and weakness of my heart and mind are something I have always lived with.
And I have become unable to suppress it.
It's sad and frustrating
But I have to fight that other self.
The self I don't know. The self I hate.
I fought against them both.
And when I simply couldn't cope,
What saved me was all of you,
And the members, and the staff, and my family.
And also many songs.
From everyone's words
I learned that there are people who love even this poor me,
And I was able to settle down.
And there were members there to tell me
That they loved me, and I was important to them.
I've been able to endure many times.
And now I am continuing the fight against myself.
But it isn't just me.
Everyone, every day
Is passing their days fighting their own battles.
Just living is hard.
And we do our best to live on.
This is all obvious,
But just thinking about it makes me want to do my best.
Waiting with a sullen look
Will not bring others' praise.
Bit by bit, I'm coming to be able to affirm myself.
I want to keep going forward.
Although I was going to talk about being 19 years old,
Really, what am I saying about it?
From my shallow experience, I think
That just living is the most important thing.
Just living means that we can find a solution. For sure.
I was 16 when I took the audition.
And suddenly I'm 19.
It's a time that will not last forever.
So I just have to do it.
And I want to do more.
Making a strong declaration is scary.
Once it's out of my mouth
In that instant, a responsibility is born.
I'm putting a burden on myself. I'll do my best.
(Waah. Is it okay to make such a definite statement?)
Nevertheless!! In this one year
I got many fantastic jobs to do.
There were important new meetings
And as I achieved my goals
There were new things I wanted to do.
I want to spread Keyakizaka's songs far and wide.
I want to make a contribution to Nagasaki.
I want to exchange ideas and concerns with middle- and high-school students around the country.
And I want to go to various places.
I will continue to hold even larger dreams
Secretly in my breast.
And this year again I will diligently go forward. Let's go!
Whether I feel like it or not makes no difference.
Things will work out.
If it's okay,
Could you please continue to watch me from now on?
I will go forward with my daily activities
In hopes of becoming this kind of person.
I'm sorry for just writing about myself, such as I am.
Thank you very much for reading right to the end.
Nagahama Neru
___________________________________________written evening 170905, posted by staff 170906 02:08h
The photo with Sugai almost convinces me there are no problems between the two of them. But posts from various members after the tour make me realize that there are many things going on behind the scenes that are completely unknown to us. (Of course.)
Did something happened between the two of them?
ReplyDeleteDuring showroom about two months ago, Neru, Fuyuka, and Shiori were sort of belittling and bullying Sugai, but even more so was Neru. It led many people to believe that there was a conflict going on between the two.
ReplyDeleteI thought that Neru was playing around a lot and disrupting the plan Yukka had for her Showroom. I thought it improved the show, but I also thought Yukka was upset. Other people thought I was reading too much into the incident, and it was just normal banter. In any case, I hope they both feel better now, if they did ever feel badly about it.
ReplyDeleteEven I, thought that showroom was a bit mess, but it's not a bad thing though, that Neru-Fuyuka combi result was understandable, they're both cheerful and quick-witted type, and they don't have any bad intentions definitely, it's just Yuuka had quite a hard-time to manage that show at the time, as she was an opposite-type with the two of them. Still, love them as a group, fulfilling each other with their own personality...
ReplyDelete