Hirate Yurina: long interview from December Rockin' On Japan magazine

from Rockin' in Japan magazine, December 2017:

Hirate Yurina of Keyakizaka46

A 120-minute interview talking about her encounter with Fukyouwaon, the first national tour, her feelings toward the other members, and the new single, Kaze ni Fukaretemo.

I guess this was a year in which I faced myself. And came to understand myself a bit

Interviewer -- It’s been a while.

Hirate: It has.

-- Our previous interview was in February. Since then, you have had your first outdoor live, you have produced numerous works, and above all you have had your first national tour. In asking you about these things one by one, I very much want to know what Hirate-san has been thinking over the almost eight months since our last interview, as you continue to stand there in the centre of Keyakizaka46. Now I hope to hear from you in detail about these things.

Hirate: Yes. Please treat me well.

-- First, looking back over this year, 2017, in general what would you say about it? I imagine it felt like an extremely full year that went by at a great speed.

Hirate: Really, all kinds of things happened. I feel as if even more things happened than at the time of SaiMajo (Silent Majority) last year. Last year, all kinds of things happened for Keyakizaka46 as a whole. This year, it was to Hirate Yurina that things happened.

-- Yes. I wonder if we will be able to go over them all. Does it feel as if you are still in the midst of it?

Hirate: For the moment, I’m feeling calmer.

-- Thank you very much for appearing at Rock In Japan this summer.

Hirate: Thank you for having us. It was tremendous fun.

-- I was happy to meet you there, and thank you for the great performance. But it felt as if you were rushing away.

Hirate: It was just when we were doing the tour, too, and we had been invited to festivals and events, so I had a lot of things on my mind.

-- For Hirate Yurina, what kind of impression remains with you of 2017?

Hirate: I can’t think…. I don’t remember any good things happening this year.

-- You’d go that far? (laughs)

Hirate: I have no good memories of it (laughs). It feels as if only awful things happened. That’s what remains with me.

-- I see. I hesitate to ask, but what words would you use to describe this year?

Hirate: There are a lot of things I would prefer not to think back on, if possible. But as I think about it now, those things were definitely valuable for me. I felt angry, and that gave me energy. I think that helped us create a good album.

-- That’s part of the fascination of Hirate-san. Within us, there are various feelings, whether it’s, “Hooray, we did it!” or: “This is exhausting!” There are people who consider having fun the most important thing, and people whose lives depend on a feeling of accomplishment. But Hirate-san faces every feeling directly.

Hirate: I’m not aware of that, but it may be so.

-- Never averting your eyes from things, but looking straight at both happy things and difficult things the same 100 percent. Not evading any feeling.

Hirate: I do think I faced things. Many times, I felt as if I was about to break, but I guess I faced everything. Yes, I may have.

-- So you never think: “I’ll just do it the way I always have.”

Hirate: I never do. It’s never “the way I always have.” I think I may have faced myself directly, over this time.

-- Especially over this past year?

Hirate: Yes.

-- I think that’s just the kind of person Hirate-san is. But in facing various things over this year, although it would have been better to be more at ease, that is just not something that is in Hirate-san’s nature, and being pushed to the wall in this way may have made you stronger.

Hirate: It’s true that I’ve felt all along that I am being forced into desperate straits (laughs). I do seem to be able to get through things, but I always seem to be in desperate situations, and my worries may have become too great. That has been especially true this year.

-- They never stopped, those worries.

Hirate: No, they didn’t. One period of time ends and things suddenly change, but then other worries come to hound me, and I still can’t get any relief (laughs).

-- Over this year, maybe you gradually came to accept that that’s your nature, and this is your profession, and there will always be something you can’t escape.

Hirate: There’s always some troublesome thing or other coming up inside me, and when I think I’ve solved it, there’s another. I sometimes think things like, “Will it always be like this?” or: “I guess that’s the kind of person I am.” But sometimes I think: “What on Earth is going on?” I just don’t know myself at all.

-- To put it another way, rather than knowing yourself, was it like seeing various selves?

Hirate: Yes, something like that. But it was tough.

-- If that’s how you are, do you like it or hate it?

Hirate: Because it's so difficult, I hate it. But when it suddenly shows up in song lyrics, I really feel like: “What’s going on here?” Just when I’m thinking something, I find myself singing a song about it, so it’s easy to express what’s in the song. People say I become someone, or recently that I’m possessed, but it's not that I turn into anything, it's that the song fits me. It's like I'm just being myself

-- Up to now, as far as the self you want to become is concerned, the feeling of “if it isn’t this way, it’s no good” has been pretty strong. Over this past year, perhaps you have become aware of things like, “If I just work as hard as I can, things around me will catch up to me,” or:“The situation will catch up to me and solve the problem.” 

Hirate: There was no “something will solve the problem” in me. Maybe, “First, I have to get through this,” or because a deadline is approaching: “I just have to do the best I can.” Maybe the things right in front of me were too urgent.

-- This is backtracking a bit, but what was the motive power -- and where did it come from -- for getting through it?

Hirate: …I really don’t know at all.

-- That’s one way of answering. A reply you often hear is “because the people who want to hear me were waiting.” I think you must have some of that feeling.

Hirate: As for that, in doing School of Lock, I came in contact with high-school students like myself, and middle school students. Being in high school was important, I guess. The me in Keyakizaka is a different self…although it's connected. High school is the time when your feelings are the most changeable, and lots of people tell me it is “an important time,” so I think I have to treasure it.

-- From things like that, did you find something you could really rely on?

Hirate: I love food, and going out to eat with someone. Just as I’m about to eat, I fall into a kind of trance, and just for that moment, I forget everything. I guess that’s my reward.

-- So it’s gotten like that.

Hirate: It’s gotten like that.

-- As painful as that.

Hirate: Very painful (laughs). There was no-one who could sympathize with me. I don’t think the other members ever get like this.

-- Because everyone may not be facing the same direction.

Hirate: Yes. So it’s pretty tough.

There are a lot of things I would prefer not to think back on. But as I think about it now, those things were definitely important for me.

-- To ask this from a slightly different angle: over this past year, what have you been thinking about?

Hirate: There were lots of painful things, but the first one was a big one: losing my voice. That lasted for about a month. It had never happened to me before, so I didn’t know at all how to treat it. But the recording of the album was beginning, and people told me that not doing the recording would ruin things. I had listened to the songs, and was ready to sing them any time, but my voice wouldn’t come out, so I’d half given up. But if I didn’t do it, I knew people would be giving me a lot of talking-to, so I went into the booth again and again to practice, and I was finally able to sing. It was like “whoop!” and out came my voice (laughs).

Eccentric was the easiest song to sing, and I had been working on it all along, but it was only by getting into the mood with Fukyouwaon that my voice finally emerged. The first time, my voice was terrible, but I gradually got it back, and two or three days later I did the recording. So that song is big for me. Because I was angry, my voice came out (laughs). That happens to me a lot. I often get power from being angry, etc.

-- So you're someone who doesn't evade her own emotions. It’s tough to be moved by anger. Although I think people can be moved by enjoyment, it seems Hirate-san is going to continue to be like this.

Hirate: Yes. That day, all kinds of really annoying things happened, and after that I was able to speak. I was surprised myself (laughs).

-- Including feelings of irritation toward yourself, when you weren’t able to do something the way you intended?

Hirate: There was some of that, too. As well as what I thought various people would say to me. At that time, I felt as if no-one at all was on my side. I really felt I had no-one to depend on. I knew I was causing enormous problems for everyone, and ended up with thoughts that were hard to bear.

We recorded Getsuyoubi no Asa, Sukaato wo Kirareta as soon as my voice came out, so probably there was anger built up in me. At the point where I was saying “What do you know about me?” I was told I could go ahead and just let out all my feelings, and I got a lot of praise for it. My Coffin (Jibun no Hitsugi) was like that, too. If I hadn’t gone through all that, I don’t think Getsuyoubi no Asa, Sukaato wo Kirareta could have happened. I don’t think I could have performed it like that. Thinking about it now, it may have been a very important experience.

-- You’ve really thought back on it.

Hirate: Yes. Now I have the space to think back on it.

-- Now I would like to ask about the things that happened this year, in order. I’m thinking that Fukyouwaon (released in April) was a big song for you….

Hirate: It was really difficult (laughs).

-- More than just saying it was big, you had the feeling it was difficult?

Hirate: I don’t know at all. I just don’t remember. There were times when I really felt the gaze of everyone around me. I felt as if people were telling me things all the time, and I really didn’t want to talk to anybody. It was then that the song Fukyouwaon came along. I didn’t think: “What is this?” I just naturally felt “uh-huh, uh-huh...this is just how I feel,” and went ahead and sang it.

-- Sometimes you need to work to get closer to a song’s world. But with Fukyouwaon, your feeling was: “This is me right now.”

Hirate: Ever since SaiMajo (Silent Majority), the songs have felt like exactly what I’m thinking at the time. There was no feeling of having to become anything. I don’t remember this, but apparently around the time of Futari (Futari Saison) I was saying “I want to fall in love” all the time. I didn’t notice this, myself. I was just doing it unconsciously.

-- But I think Fukyouwaon was particularly in sync with you in that way.

Hirate: Well, that song definitely has what feels like the power of anger in it, doesn’t it? So I think that “at that time, a lot of stress had built up,” and “all kinds of annoying things had happened.”

-- I see (laughs).

Hirate: But now, looking at it objectively, I think that for such a very down song to come along when I had already sunk so low sent me even lower.

-- But perhaps, if it weren’t Fukyouwaon, you wouldn’t have sung at all.

Hirate: Not sung at all…. At least I think I couldn't have done it as well.

-- It's no easy thing to get a song that feels so close to you, and a song that goes along with your own state of mind. Fukyouwaon in particular was like that, wasn’t it?

Hirate: I guess Fukyouwaon was like that, but to put it the opposite way, without getting into the feelings of Fukyouwaon, there was no way I could get into its world. So generally I knew when I could do it and when I couldn’t. When I was thinking, “Today I can’t do it” [a live performance], I wouldn’t have the confidence to do it. I was in a different mode. Because of that, it was really tough.

-- I think Fukyouwaon is an amazing song. Because if the singing just followed the words, it couldn’t have become the song it is. I mean that if you didn't wear yourself down doing it, the song wouldn’t work.

Hirate: I wonder. The me now doesn't know. Without becoming that person, I don't know what they’re thinking.

-- So you sang Fukyouwaon with the feeling that you had to become that person.

Hirate: Yes. Maybe performing "that kid" suits me best. I think things like "that kid is amazing." So live performances are very difficult.

It's not that I turn into anything, it's that the song fits me. It's like I'm just being myself.

-- At Rock In Japan, you were wondering right up to the last minute whether or not to perform Fukyouwaon.

Hirate: Within myself, I knew that this was a place where I had to be victorious. So I couldn't do it the way I had done it before on the tour. And the staff understood. If I ended up doing it here, the mood would be extremely good. But if I didn't, I would feel broken. At a time like that, I just didn't know what to do. I was discussing it with staff right up to the last minute.

-- So you came to think “let's do it”.

Hirate: Yes. I did it thinking: "I’ll try it and see." Though in the end, I myself thought I didn't succeed.  

-- I see.

Hirate: I'd failed at Rock In Japan, and the Nagoya performances came up next. I couldn’t go on stage there.

-- Summer 2017 began with "Keyaki Republic" at Fuji-Q Highlands amusement park. What was that like? I think you may have faced that live as a different Hirate Yurina than you had ever been before.

Hirate: It was so much fun. I think that was the best live we have ever done. I could see it in the mood and the expressions of the members. I think a lot of girls had put a lot of thought into it. Even looking at the videos afterwards, I was extremely happy seeing how together the dancing was, how the feeling of unity came through, and how you could feel everyone’s energy.

-- Do you still watch it now?

Hirate: From time to time. To compare it with current lives. Like: "The dancing was so together then, but now it isn’t." I show that to the members, and we do our best to achieve it.

-- In fact, Keyaki Republic attained a high degree of perfection: everyone’s energy, their concentration, the concept, the feeling of the place -- all of it. The opening was your idea, wasn't it?

Hirate: Yes, that's true. It’s there that they started letting me bring out a lot of my own ideas. Even though it was just me saying: "I have an idea." (laughs) I wanted to do a live where, when the theme and concept were decided, the live would have a story that fit them. In my mind was the image of a Keyaki Republic, and people were coming to it as the guests of Keyakizaka46. I wanted to do a show where the opening and the ending were connected. Since it was different from how previous lives had opened, I felt nervous about it: "Will this be okay?" But I wanted people to get the feeling, "So this is Keyakizaka!" and I think it may have turned out to be a good start.

-- I imagine there was something that got you thinking in terms of bringing out your own ideas.

Hirate: We had our anniversary live in April, and when I heard the set-list, I cried. I couldn't accept it (laughs). So maybe that was the impetus. I thought: "If I'm going to do this, I want to put forward my own ideas." That then began at Fuji-Q. In making the album, we were given the chance to come out with our ideas together. That was really hard (laughs).

-- In the album Masshiro no Mono wa Yogoshitakunaru, the key songs were probably the very Keyakizaka songs Getsuyoubi no Asa Sukaato wo Kirareta and Eccentric, and your solo song Jibun no Hitsugi. I think perhaps these three songs were in Hirate-san’s mode.

Hirate: Eccentric was surprisingly difficult. In the course of the tour, I came not to be able to perform it, and had all kinds of problems. Eccentric and Fukyouwaon are songs of a kind I am good at, in which I let loose my feelings. But I came not to be able to express anything but the songs in which my feelings are bottled up inside me. Do you know Dance Track 1? Throwing shoes, climbing stairs -- those are the kinds of feelings I am good at. But Eccentric is a difficult song.

-- A song that wore you down?

Hirate: Yes, that's what it was.

-- You said before about Fukyouwaon, “that kid is amazing.” Were you looking at someone like that, a self who isn't you, in Eccentric?

Hirate:​ In Eccentric, what was inside me was a male protagonist. There were parts that I understood that way, where I was running away from things I hated. And there were places where it ended up as if I was thinking: “Let’s just go for it.”

-- When you’re performing Eccentric, do you feel as if you have to get that boy’s story across?

Hirate:​ When I’m able to do it properly, maybe I do become my Eccentric self. But right now I'm not sure what feeling I have. Now I think I get the feeling: “Okay. Eccentric. Here it is.” 

-- Personally, I think that Jibun no Hitsugi is an extremely accurate expression of one side of Hirate-san. What kind of song is it for you?

Hirate:​ I love it (laughs). But when I’m performing it live, I can’t think what song to perform it after. It’s such a unique song. And I think it’s a song you can interpret in various ways. Wanting to “fall into hell” and so on. Am I saying that about myself? Am I saying it about the person I’m speaking to? It’s different depending on the interpretation.

-- What’s it like to perform?

Hirate:​ At the second performance at Makuhari (the tour finale at Makuhari exhibition centre) various bad things were going on for me. All I recall is that things were bad. I kept on saying “this is bad” backstage, and just went on stage like that, so I don’t know. I don’t know how I sang it.

-- At this point, I’d like to talk about the tour, particularly to hear about the performances you put forward your own ideas for.

Hirate:​​ ​​​Makuhari was changed from the performances in the regions. Everyone had worked hard on the things I’d said I wanted to do, to make my dream come true. That was Keyaki Republic. And when my dream had been fulfilled, I felt rather sad, quite bereft. “It’s done,” I thought. There were other things I wanted to do, and I could switch to them. But I did feel bereft. We had done it, I felt.

-- Going from Jibun no Hitsugi to Fukyouwaon made for a very heavy sequence, it seems to me. Rather than the pure motivation of “I want to do this no matter what,” I think this was accompanied by a bit of a realization that “if we don’t do this, it won’t be Keyakizaka.” What do you think?

Hirate:​​ ​​​ ​I didn’t want to end with W-KEYAKIZAKA no Uta. And everyone said the same thing. During the tour, I had been helped by everyone, and in getting closer to them I heard many ideas about which I thought: “Yes, that’s true.” I wanted to repay the kindness of all the support I had received up to then and fulfil everyone else’s dreams, too. I thought my own dreams would be part of it, so I told them everything I wanted to do. When the performance began, I was very nervous. But it was great how everyone had such enthusiasm. We really wanted to astound the audience.

-- It’s an extreme way of saying it, but: “If the songs didn’t go in this order, I wouldn’t stand on stage.” When I watched, that’s the feeling I thought I saw.

Hirate:​​​ ​​​​​​ ​​There may have been some of that. When I was doing the live, I wanted to surprise people -- to give them goosebumps, even. There would definitely be some fans there who had come to every performance, and I wanted to shock even them. So on the last day only, we did a double encore. We wanted to do something different from the usual Fukyouwaon. We’d said we wanted to try it ever since Keyaki Republic, so that was wonderful. If we hadn’t, maybe I wouldn’t have wanted to go on stage.

-- Pretty complicated. Hirate-san says, “That was my dream,” but objectively speaking you were setting up something that wore you down. In other words, something that will continue depleting you became your dream. That’s the kind of personality you have.

Hirate: It's not that I have those kinds of feelings toward things that wear me down. It’s probably just that I’m always wanting to really do things. I say: “If we’re not going to do something amazing, I don’t want to go out there.”

-- “If I’m not going to be tackling something amazing, I don’t want to do it.” That’s exactly the kind of production it was, eh.

Hirate: I definitely wanted to do it. I thought it felt real. And I wanted to think up something even better for the next time. Although I was still at a loss how to do it (laughs).

People who come to our lives aren’t just seeing idols. We want to make lives where people feel we are "trying to convey something"

-- When you get a song, you have to memorize it, then memorize the choreography to sing it with, and you have to think deeply about every aspect of how to get the song’s appeal across, and what you want the song to convey. You have to put your utmost energy into it. And if you don’t do this, Hirate-san can’t perform, correct?

Hirate: That’s true. If the song-order is even a little lacking in story, I’m the kind of person who will say, “If that’s the case, then let’s stop,” or: “I don’t want to go out there.” Even if I think it is going to cause a lot of problems for the staff. If I’m going to stand there, it’s like I want to do the absolute best I can.

       

-- This may be a grandiose way of saying it, but you take responsibility. As far as “this is what Keyakizaka is,” I think this is one of the most important aspects of its essence. And you do not want to turn your eyes away from it. But I think there must be other things said than just the personal thing of “I want to fulfil my own desires and my ideal.”

Hirate: There’s “this is what I want to convey,” and “by means of this live…,” etc. If those aren’t there, I can’t do it. I can’t do it unless there’s a story. On the other hand, if there’s a story I can sometimes just ride the story and carry on. In the process I keep discussing things with [choreographer] Takahiro-sensei, and I have to keep doing that.

-- In going from Jibun no Hitsugi to Fukyouwaon, a shot rings out, and you’re smeared with blood, and then Fukyouwaon starts, with its line “shot at by my friends.” And from there, “The End” appears on the monitors. There aren't many artists who could perform this, and Hirate-san was there to carry the core of it. It wasn’t a matter of “this staging is good,” but of “it had to be this way.” It had a feeling of necessity.

Hirate: Originally, I wanted a laser to be brought in, and for us to be shot one by one. But the thinking was that there was more impact to me alone being shot.

-- Was the image of that staging always there? In Hirate-san's mind?

Hirate: Yes, it was. Really, I wanted to convey it in a way that was easy to understand -- by handing out a brochure or something. The people watching were not just watching idols. We wanted them to think we were "trying to get convey something." In the end, we weren’t able to go that far, and I thought: “We’ll pick this up next time.” In any case, I thought it would great to be able to get those two songs across.

-- I thought: “These people think that going this far is just how they do things.” I watched thinking what noble figures you made, standing there on stage.

Hirate: I was very concerned about what people would be thinking when they went home after the show. (laughs) I wondered if we really might have pierced down into people’s inner darkness. I wondered if it we had done all right. Since it was finished, there was nothing we could do about it. But I worried about it a lot.

-- To return to what we were saying before, it was a really exhausting tour. The schedule was tough, and as we said before, it carried right on from making the album. But you were able to overcome all this and produced a terrific show that was like you, that really showed you at your best. I think this experience must have great meaning for Hirate-san. What is it that remains with you from this tour?

Hirate: I think those may have been days when I got to know myself...in the course of causing trouble for a lot of people.

-- Since Hirate-san wants to know who she is, that means she must not already know (laughs). Although you know what your own face looks like, so to speak, sometimes it must get quite blurry.

Hirate: That’s true. It’s pretty intense.

It was the first time I had told the members what I really felt. “I can’t perform this. I'd like you to help me.” And they all helped me enormously.

-- There was the tour, and now right after it comes the new song Kaze ni Fukaretemo. Its atmosphere was different from that of any of your previous singles. Can you give us some explanation of the song?

Hirate: Director Shingu [Shingu Ryouhei, who directed the MV] would always explain the song: “This part is like this and this….” And listening to him, I usually thought: “Yes, that’s true.” He’d say, “That’s just what human life is like,” or: “You said you hated adults, but no matter what, there is always something you don’t understand. There’s always something like that. So isn’t it better to live a happy life?” Hearing that, I thought: “Ah. That’s true.” And I came to sing it that way.

So what does that mean? The song was something new for Keyakizaka, and in a way it was very difficult for me. In thinking about the male protagonist, I thought, “He has been a bit in love before,” and: “She has probably blown away somewhere?” I thought: “Something must have happened.” I wanted to meet him and see.

-- So this was different from how you faced earlier songs like Eccentric and Fukyouwaon, then.

Hirate: It was very difficult for me. I had always thought of things in a heavy way, and to think of them in a lighter way was hard. But it would truly be a loss not to enjoy it. This is the only time I am a high school student and can live the high school life, and I thought “making sure to enjoy this would be a victory,” so there are places where I sing in this mood.

-- So you came to think that way.

Hirate: I want people to praise Hirate for being able to sing this song (laughs). The director asked me: “So how’s that? Is your mood like that, now?” I answered: “No, I still hate adults.” (laughs) “I guess that’s how it is,” he said. He really understood me, the director. “Yes, adults are really pretty bad,” he’d say. “I don’t think Hirate will ever get free of that.” (laughs) “But it’s better to enjoy life,” he said. After that, I came to be able to talk a lot with the members. It was fun when we were together, and the conversations were fun. I became a me I hadn’t known before.

-- What was it like, this self?

Hirate: I wasn’t used to it (laugh). I wasn’t used to it and it felt strange. I thought: “Maybe I’ll stay like this.”

-- Up to now, I doubt that “to enjoy things is a victory” was something you would say, or even think. I really doubt that you would think you could live in that way.

Hirate: Ah, I see. “Let’s rebel,” or “I hate that” -- that kind of feeling.

-- In a sense, this song has a positive message. But there are various things beneath the surface, and various kinds of life. Aren’t you singing about having gotten through the kind of time we’ve been talking about?

Hirate: It was good that this next song was like that. After the tour was over, I felt a bit relieved. Whether my what we call "bonds" with the members are right or not, I don’t know. But I feel as if we got through something together. And this song was right in the middle of that, so I think we all enjoyed singing it.  But it’s true that there is a me who can’t relax if the song doesn’t have a strong message. In Fukyouwaon I looked into the camera and delivered messages like “I hate this” and “resist more!” This time I did sometimes wonder: “What should I be trying to communicate here?”

-- I see. So why is this song so moving?  First, because it is a positive song, and has a kind of message that no Keyakizaka single up to now has had. Hirate-san had never sung this kind of song. And you’d never felt like singing one. But now you have become able to sing it.

Hirate: Uh-huh.

-- Up to now, you’d say: “My feelings just don’t go along with getting up in front of people and singing a positive message like this.” I think there was always a self that would say: “I can’t go in front of people and sing something like: ‘Keeping things vague is so cool!’” But now you can sing it. Especially over the past year, when you have experienced pressure and pain and exhausting difficulties, and have gotten through them. There must be some kind of savings account of life in this song. But when you sing a positive song with a smiling face, there aren’t just the words on the surface: beneath them, everything spreads out and you have to convey it all. Isn’t that somewhat how it is?

Hirate: Well... This feeling isn’t like me. No matter how much I think about it, I still don’t understand it. But as soon as I make eye-contact with the members, I start dancing with a smile (laughs). There’s definitely no feeling of being worn down by this song.

-- A song that doesn't wear you down?

Hirate: To say it in a word, the beings called “members” may be huge here. To be seen by the members, to be able to talk with the members, to be accepted by the members. I can’t explain it very well, but I got through the tour by talking with the members. Maybe it was by opening my heart to them…. Up to now, maybe I didn’t properly look at them. It's probably connected with Fukyouwaon and Getsuyoubi no Asa Sukaato wo Kirareta. During that period, all kinds of things happened. It really felt long. Now I think how much fun it is to be with the members.

-- A sad story.

Hirate: You could say that. But if another song like Fukyouwaon came along, everyone would know the me from around the time of Fukyouwaon, and I’m sure they would understand. I would want them to understand. I told the members my honest feelings for the first time. “I can’t perform this. I would like you to help me.” That took a lot of courage to say. But from there everyone helped me tremendously. The tour was the first time I had spoken my real feelings. Many times, members came to the dressing room and said: “I want to speak with Hirate.” And I spoke with them honestly. “I can’t do it,” I said. They truly all supported me and saved me, on this tour.

-- As we have spoken about up to now, there have been all kinds of stories over this one year. I asked this at the start, but I’ll ask it again: for you, what kind of year was 2017?

Hirate: A year in which I tried to face myself, perhaps. Too many things happened to say it in a word, but I came to know the person called “myself” a bit.

-- I asked this at the beginning, too, but over this year, what was making Hirate-san run?

Hirate: Maybe it was trying to fight something I hate.

-- Not to be defeated? Not to be tied down?

Hirate: I wanted to fight back. (laughs)

-- Hahaha. And you really did it.

Hirate: I wonder. It's hard to say. I want to do more amazing things from now on, as well. You might call them Keyakizaka-like things. Or maybe things that confound the fans’ expectations.

-- I see. All kinds of things really did happen over this year.

Hirate: Truly, I’m strong now. There’s still a weak me, but since there’s also a strong me, I’m ready to fight. So now I want to do lives. I enjoy being involved in making lives. Fussing over costumes, even. I still want to do it. I’ve got a lot of power now. Energy.

-- So for Hirate-san, there’s nothing like: “Now I’m going to shift gears and relax.” As you said before, “No doing things as I always have.” This is really like Hirate-san.

Hirate: I just naturally rebel right away. If someone tells me, “Do this now,” I say: “No, now I’m doing this!” (laughs)　I can't live in a straight world.

-- Maybe Hirate-san is actually too straight.

Hirate: Is that being straight? It's true that during the tour I was determined not to lie. When I didn’t go on stage in Nagoya, I was trying to express my feelings.... This may be the first time I have spoken about the tour.

-- Previously, I wrote: “Writing lyrics and writing music are amazing. But those have no necessary connection with Keyakizaka46. Writing is wonderful, it’s an amazing thing, but those are in a sense being made to order, and I think what is really being expressed is, more than anything, the way of living of the person called ‘Hirate’. “

Hirate: Fukase-san of Sekai no Owari read that, and in the conversation we had, he said: “I believe that’s true.” Since it was coming from someone who really knew, that made me very happy.

-- I see. I thought the same thing during this interview. Thank you very much for today.

Hirate: Thank you very much.

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Sorry for the long delay in getting this out. The magazine came out on 30 October. Unfortunately, I have not been able to get my own copy of the original text. This follows a Chinese translation.