An old interview: Some clues to Neru's personality

Late 2015

This is part of an early interview published by Hustle Press in December 2015. I just read it again and think there are some important clues here for understanding the complex personality of Nagahama Neru. So perhaps you would like to read it again, too.

After explaining the circumstances under which Neru joined Keyakizaka three months after everyone else -- her mother dragging her back from the final audition, then her parents relenting and asking management to give her another chance -- the short interview begins:

-- To begin with, what was it that made you come to like idols?

Nagahama: "In the upper grades of elementary school, I became a fan of AKB48. I fell in love with the drama Majisuka Gakuen and with Pony-tail to Shushu. Around that time, I entered the school's computer club and spent all my time watching AKB48 videos."

-- Computer club? That's a surprising choice.

Nagahama: "Yes. I was thinking technology was going to be important from then on (laughs). I was the only sixth-grade member, and the fifth-graders and I worked together to do the photography for the graduation album (laughs). At that time, I had never been to a handshake event -- I didn't have enough money to buy CDs -- and all I did was watch videos.

-- And as things went on, you became a Nogizaka46 fan?

Nagahama: "Yes. Around second year of middle school, I encountered Oide Shampoo, and became a fan. At that time, there still weren't any Nogizaka46 fans around me, and I was secretly proud that I had a group that only I liked."



-- What stuck with you about them?

Spring 2017

Nagahama: "The lyrics. At that time, I had a lot of worries about interpersonal relationships. I didn't want the girls at school to hate me. I had to work hard to cheer myself up. On the train alone, I would listen to Nogizaka46's songs. Sometimes I cried. I was always trying hard not to be hated by anyone, to become someone no-one could find fault with. And that aspect of me hasn't changed."

-- Why do you think you came to have that kind of personality?

Nagahama: "I come from the Goto Islands. On the island, we were all friends: it was a life of fishing, climbing trees, secret bases, etc. But when I was in first grade, we moved to the city [Nagasaki]. I came to think: 'This is different from the island.' When I put myself forward, people hated me. Maybe the other girls envied me or something. In any case, that made me gradually close my heart, and become immersed in my own world.

-- Even now, you are still somewhat  in your own world, aren't you? What things do you think about?

Nagahama: "The universe. Before I go to sleep, I think about the universe. 'What is my self? There are so many galaxies in the universe, and in them there is one solar system, and in that there is Earth, and Japan, and then me....' Thinking about such things, I feel how tiny I am."

-- How did a person like that think of joining Keyakizaka46?

Nagahama: "Basically, I wanted to go to a world where no-one knew me. I considered studying overseas. But I thought that joining the Nogizaka46 group I loved so much would be good, so I applied for the audition."

-- I see. By the way, before becoming an idol, did you have a dream?

Nagahama: "...to become president!"
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This interview was given right in the middle of the period where she was a second-class citizen in Keyakizaka46, trying desperately to fit in with a group that had already built its own social relations. As we know now, she was kind and thoughtful and worked hard and was eventually accepted by everyone (or almost everyone). 

But this is also when the idea that she is a tricky and deceitful tanuki arose. Here she is more or less admitting that she works hard to put on the kind of front she thinks people want to see. We have learned over the past year and a half that in her life in Nagasaki she worked hard to please her parents and teachers as well, practicing piano, going on homestays, belonging to an after-school education club, taking her school to the finals of the Nagasaki high-school quiz. And she had a boyfriend, too, apparently. 

I picture her as someone who is potentially so good at things that the other kids resent her. It may have begun as the normal "outsider" syndrome, but Neru may be a little prouder and pushier than we normally think. I mean, her ambition -- schoolgirl fantasy as it may have been -- was to be president of a country....

This is only the first of several times she has mentioned liking the lyrics of songs whose lyrics are written by Aki-P. No doubt she does like them. But she is smart enough to realize she is flattering her boss when she says it.

I don't mean this as criticism. Neru may actually be my favorite member of K46. But she is complex and dangerous, as well as smart and nice.