Neru talks philosophy with Playboy magazine

Nagahama Neru (Kanji/Hiragana Keyakizaka46) discusses philosophy? "Won't readers find this boring...?"

Weekly Playboy news interview with the idol to watch in 2017.

Keyakizaka46 only made its debut in April of 2016, but still appeared on NHK's year-end Kouhaku show. Here is Nagahama Neru, who is part of both Kanji Keyakizaka46 and Hiragana Keyakizaka46. What kind of girl is she, anyway?

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-- As the idol selected by Weekly Playboy news as its idol to watch, please just answer our broad questions in a relaxed way: "What kind of personality does our idol-to-watch have?" and "What are your goals for this year?"

Nagahama -- Thank you very much.

-- Nagahama-san, what kind of personality do you think you have?

Nagahama -- Basically, I'm a worrier.

-- Worrier. You mean you worry over things too much?

Nagahama -- No matter what little thing I say, I really worry: "Maybe what I said hurt her." And if I think it has, I apologize... I probably did this most when I was in middle school.

-- For example?

Nagahama -- Oh, something like going home with a girl and talking, and she says: "I wonder if I should cut my hair." And I reply: "Oh, that would be good. It might give an adult feeling."

-- But that's quite a normal conversation.

Nagahama -- Well, after saying that, I would think things like: "Maybe she doesn't want people to say she looks grown up.... Maybe she wants to look young.... Maybe what I said so casually ended up hurting her..." And then after I get home, I go out again to her house and apologize. But usually she didn't mind at all. That kind of thing happened again and again.



-- Yes, that's being a worrier. (laughs)

Nagahama -- Sometimes I'd talk with the girl about my answer.... But then she might think: "She's just saying it, it's just on the surface" or "She has no opinions of her own." Wanting to have an enjoyable conversation, I might answer her question with another question. But after I joined Keyakizaka46, my character changed. I became more able to express my own opinions!

-- What was it like in class?

Nagahama -- I didn't have that many friends. ...I started elementary school when we lived on an island. There were only 12 people in my class.

-- You grew up on a small island, then.

Nagahama -- Yes. It was very cosy. We were all childhood friends. But partway through elementary school we moved to the mainland. and I was in a really big school. I could see there were a number of groups. I thought I'd better not make myself stand out.

I was in the badminton club. I thought: "My opponent wants to win, so it's better if I don't beat her." The seniors said: "Run, and those who are fastest will do less weight training. It's better if the others don't compete, but do more training." Uh...is it okay to talk about such trivial things? (Laughs.)

-- It's totally okay. Don't worry about it (laughs). So you were the type who is not assertive at all.

Nagahama -- That's true.  But in elementary school and middle school, I was really happy when I met someone about whom I thought: "I'd like to keep on being friends with them."

-- So a person like this would be a "best friend', then.

Nagahama -- That's what I think... But when both sides don't think of each other as "best friends," then they're not "best friends," are they?

-- I see. In this connection, where would you put the other members of Keyakizaka46?

Nagahama -- The members are "comrades." Comrades are different from "friends." It's special. I think it's a relationship where the ideal is that all of us can talk to any member one-on-one.

-- So you want to be as close to any member as to any other, without distinction? But wouldn't a stance like that make people think "That girl is just friendly with everyone!" or "She's just nice to anyone!"

Nagahama -- That's true. But I think it's good to go around with everyone, with the same closeness between us all. Takahashi Minami-san (note: former member and general director of AKB48) in her Essay on Leadership wrote: "What does the most harm to a group are damaging things like twosomes. Those are what ruin a group." When I read that, I realized that being firmly stuck on one single person was a bad thing. I should be with everyone equally.

...but being a member is a relationship I've found for the first time in my life. It's special. We spend more time together than with our families, and share more feelings. Being with each other a lot really binds us together. It's difficult. It seems more than family, but there is rivalry there, too. So I think "comrades" is the closest word.

-- Before this, had you come across any "comrades"? Maybe the Straw-Hat Pirates in One Piece? 

Nagahama -- In One Piece, everyone is quite individual, but their position in the group is clear. In our group, on the other hand, I'm always thinking: "What should I be like in the group? Am I making a contribution?" ...it's hard to give an example, with the members. But I love them. Somehow, I don't have the words...

-- You may feel that you don't have the words, but you still think things in your head, it seems to me.

Nagahama: I'm certainly thinking things all the time. ...but most of this is self-criticism sessions. There are many times when I'm thinking I had a very bad attitude toward this member or that staff member. I ponder my actions and think: "I'll never made that mistake again."

-- What have you thought that way about recently?

Nagahama -- For example...when all the members are on a bus going somewhere, I really enjoy it. I talk the whole time. But people are tired and trying to sleep. Later, members can say: "You were so noisy when we were on the bus." It really bothers me. The self-criticism session in my head begins.... In the end, half an hour later I'm weeping and apologizing.

-- Whaat? You haven't changed since middle school!! You said you had changed since joining Keyakizaka46....

Nagahama -- It's true. I haven't changed (laughs). In the end, people burst out laughing and say: "It didn't bother me. You were just talking normally!" They weren't angry at all.... I hadn't done anything wrong. But somehow in dealing with the members, I get all kinds of stimuli. There are certainly ways in which I've changed. I'm growing.

-- That's wonderful.

Nagahama -- In Keyakizaka46, people's feelings often collide, and we forget ourselves and burst into tears, or play around in high excitement and laugh and laugh. Seeing that, I think it's okay to express myself, and that it was a great thing to discover people who can make me think like that.

-- What a great thing to say! Besides self-criticism, what else do you think about?

Nagahama -- Hmm. What, I wonder? I do a lot of looking around at people on the train and so on, and see who's talking with whom all around me. I think: "Now, she's facing the person on that side of her. What does she want her to feel about her?" I really want to know what she's feeling.

But then I think: "What am I doing wanting to know her feelings?" "I don't think I want to show others my true self." "But is what I thought was my real self just an illusion?" or "So, is the Nagahama Neru everyone sees the real me?" and strange things like that.

-- Ohh? You really do think too much, going round and round. It's like philosophy.

Nagahama -- Ah, well I do have some interest in philosophy.

-- Oh, really? When you just spoke about not showing others your true self, what kind of self was that?

Nagahama -- I don't know! I've always felt that way, not knowing what my true self is. "If that's so, then is the impression people have from outside the real me?" ...all this is really meaningless, isn't it?

-- No, no. It's deeply interesting. Is it like there is a "White Neru" in your head who says good things and a "Black Neru" who says bad things, and which is the real self?

Nagahama -- No, that's close, but. ...it's like, maybe the real Neru is the body that speaks by reflex when the controlling-mind-self is not there? But that's a self I don't want to believe... (makes a sudden start) I'm sorry. No, I'm talking nonsense! Scary, scary! (laughs)

-- It's okay! The pattern is that every so often you come back to yourself and worry about your surroundings. I'm bit by bit coming to know what Nagahama Neru is like. (laughs)

Nagahama -- No, the photographer and my manager look as if it's totally boring. I'm sorry!

cameraman -- Not at all! (laughs)

-- You're a worrier, just as you always were! (laughs)  But why don't you want to accept that the self other people see is your real self?

Nagahama -- But the self I am today has no self-confidence. I really want to become the kind of person who isn't worried by how other people see them, and who has faith in their own ideas. Someone who doesn't waver no matter what people say to them.

-- I see. You mentioned that you were interested in philosophy. Have your read a book or something about philosophy?

Nagahama -- I started reading a book called "Beginning Philosophy" or something like that...but it was different from what I had thought. The things I think about are not that deep. For instance, when I'm going to bed I think vaguely about things like "There's a Milky Way around this Earth. Is there another Milky Way after that one?" or "Human beings are mysterious." In philosophy, there are theoretical explanations and logical conclusions. It's different from what I had imagined. I didn't have any interest in it at all.

-- I guess philosophy puts lots of definitions on things.

Nagahama -- I guess so. Although people say I talk about philosophical things, it seems that's not really true.

-- I think there are two sides of philosophy: the scholarly one with lots of definitions, and the other where you look at things from various points of view. What Nagahama-san is interested in is the latter, isn't it? It's like the former is tetsugaku ("philosophy") in kanji and the latter is tetsugaku in hiragana.

Nagahama -- Yes, that's what it is. ...but in the end, maybe it's as I've always thought: "It's impossible to explain in words what I think in my head."  My vocabulary isn't strong enough... Feelings are limitless, but words are limited. There's no way to convey everything (laughs).

-- ...the talk has become terribly serious. In a sense, I think I understand Nagahama-san's personality. Now please tell us your goal for 2017.

Nagahama -- 2016 was the year everything started. Personally, I just struggled to do everything that came my way... When I looked back at it, I thought there was so much more I could have done. So this year, I want to prepare in advance for the chances that come to me, to understand them, and then do the work.

-- Do you have a goal in your private life?

Nagahama -- Personally...there are a lot of things I want to do. I want to drive a car and go on long journeys alone. I want to go to Kagawa Prefecture on Shikoku. I really want to go to the artist island, Naoshima. But that wouldn't be by car, it would be by Shinkansen and ferry.

-- That's great! I hope you can do it!

Nagahama -- ...uh, is this interview really all right? Won't the people who read it find it boring?

-- It's fine. Don't worry about it! (laughs) Asking your thoughts on various tings was very interesting.

Nagahama -- Really? Your saying that makes me happy. But really... I've always wanted to talk about these things. When I'm able to drink, I've thought of talking all night about things like this in an izakaya. It's like: "Have you ever thought about this...?"

But everyone's probably going to find this boring... (Suddenly returning to her normal expression.) ...ahhh. I'll go home again today and have a self-criticism session! "I talked too much..."




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Do any other idols talk like this? Her interests are so broad, and her emotional perception and sensitivity are off the charts. As is her innate insecurity, it appears. She really did feel an outsider in middle school. She's intelligent and sensitive, slippery and complicated and difficult, but also full of sweetness and good will.

I've wondered why we see her together with Hirate less often than we used to. Can it be reading Takamina's essay? Did she decide that it was bad for the group for them to be too close? I feel that Hirate may need her. In management, you have to avoid getting too close to any one person, but Neru isn't in management. Maybe she can keep herself equidistant from the Hiraganas, but it's normal for humans to have special friends. Not accepting that may be bad for both her and Hirate.

I'm not a hundred percent sure of the translation of the "controlling-mind-self" paragraph, There's a forest of negatives there that makes it even more complicated that it would be anyway.

I think this is excerpted from the full interview in the print edition of Weekly Playboy. Some of the strings of periods may show where things have been left out.

Published 2017/01/29.